12 Inch Jokes

  • Why are firetrucks red?

    You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

  • Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

    Because then it'd be a foot!

  • What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

    The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

  • What's white and 12 inches?

    Nothing

  • Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

    They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

  • Why isn't my hand 12 inches?

    Because then it would be a foot

  • What's 12 inches long and white?

    Nothing.

  • Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

    Because then it would be a foot..

  • What is white, 12 inches long, and not a fluorescent light bulb?

    Nothing.

  • What's 12 inches and white?

    Nothing.

  • Why doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long?

    Because then it would be a foot.

  • What's the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches?

    6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.

  • What's white and 12 inches long?

    Absolutely nothing.

  • How long will the pizza be?

    The waiter replies "About 12 inches."

  • What's white, hard, and 12 inches long?

    Nothing.

  • Why is the biggest nose only 11 inches?

    Because if it was 12 inches it would be a foot!

  • What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

    Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

  • What do me and Subway have in common?

    12 inches

  • Why did Princess Diana divorce Prince Charles?

    She was always told a ruler was 12 inches!