4 Jokes
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Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?
Because he is 2 square.
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Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?
I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place
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How do you do it w/ 4 kids?
Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.
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What's the worst part about 4 black guys driving off a cliff in an escalade?
They were my friends. :(
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How did the 3 legged frog get across the 4 lane freeway?
Take the F out of Free, and the F out of way and you'll have your answer.
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Why doesnt Nickelback play football?
Because even if they had 4 players they still couldnt throw a ball.
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How many legs does the dog have?
4 y.o: Five Me: There's something wrong with your counting. 4: There's something wrong with the dog.
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What rock group has 4 dudes that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore
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Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors they would be called chicken sedans!
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Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?
Because in charge Yoda was.
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How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?
She counts the legs, and divides by 4.
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Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
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What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore
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What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pit bull.
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Why do chicken coops have only 2 doors?
If they had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!
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Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?
Because it doesn't even lift.
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Why was 4 afraid of 5?
Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.
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What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?
Cuatro cinco
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Why do they call it a chicken coupe?
If it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan.
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What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
quatro cinco
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Why do chicken coups only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.
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Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?
But most just have 4.
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How many beers is that for you today, dear?
Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.
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How many feet are in a yard?
4 if you have a dog.
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What do you find with 4 Catholics?
A fifth.
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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?
A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)
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What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?
A whale with a table taped to it.
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What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore. Or Nickelback. I'm so sorry.
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What do you want for your birthday?
Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.
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What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi?
Stew
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Why do women talk so much?
Because they have 4 lips.
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What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?
The finish line of the Boston Marathon.
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What do you call a chicken coop with 4 doors?
A chicken sedan.
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Why are Muslim men allowed 4 wives?
Because "Islam gives women equal rights!"
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Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!
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What do you call 4 lepers in a hot tub?
soup
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Who else does this?
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
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What is twitter?
3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life
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Why was number 4 blushing?
She saw 2 and 3 halving six
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Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?
Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.
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What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of 4.
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Why do chicken coups have two doors?
Because if they had 4 doors they'd be a chicken sedan.
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How did 3 know 4 was a Ballerina?
He had a 2-2.
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What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole?
Quatro Sinco
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Why am I here?
Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.
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What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quicksand?
Quatro cinqo.
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How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...
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What do you call an eternity?
4 blondes in 4 cars at a 4 way stop
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What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river?
Quatro-cinco
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What has 4 eyes and cannot see?
Mississippi.
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What rock group has 4 men that do not sing?
Mt. Rushmore
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What about my atm card which holds all my money?
Any 4 numbers in a row."
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What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam!
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What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit?
1 figure, literally and figuratively.
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Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) -
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Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo?
They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.
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Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
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What's the first step of fire safety?
4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.
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How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?
not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7
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How many super sayen do you need to change a bulb ?
Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end.
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What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?
The Tchernobyl cowboy.
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Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?
They only had 4 cars.
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What has 4 legs but cant move?
A child born in Chernobyl, duh.
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What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?
I, 4-1, know we won't win."
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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of 4.
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.
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What color is this?
4: McDonalds The end
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Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers?
They can only learn 4 moves.
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What has 4 legs and isn't alive?
It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this ! No Jimmy, it's your dog...
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How to 4-dimensional aliens get around?
In Tralfamadoloreans.
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What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat with a terrible leak?
Cuatro sinko
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What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door?
Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific 4: No reason.
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How do you call 4 blacks in a car falling off the cliff?
A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.
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Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?
Mount Rushmore
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Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan
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What is 168?
Dinner for 4.
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Who are you supposed to be?
4: A ninja.
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Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?
They are both unlike radicals.
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How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?
He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
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How do you answer the door Mathematically?
Door: "What is 2+2 " Me: "4" Door: "Cool!"
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What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach?
A: Public access.
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What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?
You can afford four fjord forders' fords.
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What has 4 legs, 2 grey and 2 brown?
an elephant with diarrhea
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What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?
Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)
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What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies?
Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4
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What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?
Fred and George Weasley.
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What has 4 legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull.
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What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?
You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.
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What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of 4
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How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5. 1 to screw in the light bulb, and 4 to remark on how grand the old one was.
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Why was 2 afraid of 4?
Because 4 8 16!
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Which pig is she?
Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks
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What do you want for dinner?
4: A bucket.. *Googles better school districts
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Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan.
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What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good that's perfect!
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How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool?
Flip it over
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Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits' feet.
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How was school?
4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton
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Why do robbers steal money?
Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.
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How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?
Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know.
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What do you call a black woman who's had 4 abortions?
A crime fighter.
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What do you call 4 condoms?
For me, a year's supply.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What was that?
4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.
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What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
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Why are firetrucks red?
You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.
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How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?
4 or 5.
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How did the group of 4 dogs win the golf tournament?
They combined for 16 paws.
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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage
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What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?
A cannibal
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What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?
An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"
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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?
I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...
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Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend?
Because they're too young for him
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Why does no one like the number 4?
It's too square.
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Who's in there?
He yells He gets a reply "jean-claude van damme" All 4 of you,get out!
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How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number
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How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?
Flip it upside-down.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
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What rock group has 4 men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore
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What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down?
4 brunettes
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What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?
A picnic table can support a family of 4.
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How do you spell no?
Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)
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Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?
Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!
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Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe?
Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan
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How many gears does a French Tank have?
5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.
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Why did the stop sign get an STD?
Because it had a 4-way.
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Which 4?
Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.
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What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice?
A GOP Presidential candidate.
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What has 4 legs and a trunk?
The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk
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What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet ?
An elephant with spare parts !el
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What do you call 3 Puerto Ricans, 1 Chinese Man, and 4 black guys?
A water sprinkler.
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What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
4 the home team
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What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?
3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)
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How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires?
Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."
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How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair?
You flip it upside down.
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Why does mom always yell at you?
Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you're stupid
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What happens when you die?
Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff
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What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?
Quattro cinco
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What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia?
Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry
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How Many Dragonball Z Characters Does it Take to Screw in a Light-bulb?
just one, but it will take 4 episodes.
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When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?
When it is intercepted by a plane.
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Why did the Yield Sign want to divorce the Stop Sign?
He caught her in a 4-way
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What is an ark?
2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high
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How many ducks would there be if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks two ducks between two ducks and two ducks behind two ducks?
Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
If it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.
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Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?
Because they can get 4g
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What'd you do?
PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.