911 Jokes
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Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11
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What is your emergency?
Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.
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What's your emergency?
Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
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Why did 0.81 recurring die?
Because he was 9/11.
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Why did 10 go missing?
Because 9/11.
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What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common?
The government will watch you for the next 15+ years
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Why didn't the blond call 911?
She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.
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How many questions did the politician answer?
9/11
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What's the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years
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What's the difference between Polio and 9/11?
The government actually wanted to stop Polio.
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What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?
10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion
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How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?
15 or 16
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How do you find a dirty cop?
Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers
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What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?
9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history
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What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for 15 years.
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Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?
He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado
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Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
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What's worse than 9/11?
311 Credit goes to my friend Max.
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What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping?
Landscaping is an outside job.
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What can conspiracy theorists never explain?
They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that
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What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?
When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.
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What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?
DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME
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Whats the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their knees
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What happened to the number 10?
It got stuck in 9/11
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Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
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Why can't a blonde dial 911?
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
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What's ur emergency?
Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW
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Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!
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What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?
Possum: Oh yeah
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What is your location?
Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up
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What's the difference between a cow and 911?
You stop milking a cow after 14 years..
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What do I do?
Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "
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Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?
They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
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What is the difference between a goat and 9/11?
You cannot milk a goat for 13 years
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What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?
They were both caused by a message from god.
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How often does jet fuel melt steel beams?
9/11
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What happened to the the Pentagon after the plane crash in 9/11?
It turned into a hexagon.
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What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
9/11
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What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke?
Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there 911. 911 who You said you'd never forget
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Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?
A: Elephants never forget.
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How do you prevent 9/11?
Make it a Malaysian airlines flight.
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Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?
Because 9/11 was an inside dog.
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What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?
No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.
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How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?
9/11
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When is Independence Day 2 coming out?
9/11
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How was 9/11 an inside job?
If the planes came from the outside.
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Whats ur emergency?
OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."
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What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth?
One was planned.
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Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11
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Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11?
Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years.
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How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike?
Because you never forget!
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What is something that you never forget on a field trip?
9/11.
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Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who?
I thought you said you'd never forget...."
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Why are 9/11 jokes never funny?
Because they always fly over everyone's head.
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Who's rhere?
9/11. 9/11 Who You said you would never forget.
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What's your emergency, sir?
Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*
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What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?
You stop milking the cow after ten years.
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What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?
They were both inside Jobs
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What's the difference between a cow, and 9/11?
You can't milk a cow for 14 years.
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What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?
One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy
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Where did Sally go during 9/11?
Everywhere
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What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 10 years.
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Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?
It was an emergent sea.
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How much steel can a dank meme melt if a dank meme melts steel beams?
9/11 beams
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What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims?
Their knees! Please comment "No"
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What did the chinese guy say to the mongoose?
Bing fwong dong 9/11