Addict Jokes

  • Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

    Because they'll crack up anyways

  • What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

    A rockin' roller.

  • Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

    because he was in Da-Nile

  • Who is the favorite author of someone addicted to ecstasy?

    Steven King. JK Rowling.

  • Why do people get addicted to meth?

    Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

  • Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab?

    Because he was addicted to Coke.

  • What did the power ranger-turned-addict say?

    It's morphine time!

  • Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

    Only one more sleep until Christmas!

  • Why are wires addicted to electricity?

    They can't resist.

  • Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

    They don't like getting sand in their crack.

  • What's a joke that you invented?

    Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

  • What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?


  • What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

    All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

  • What did the drug test say to the addict?


  • What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

    I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

  • What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

    We abuse

  • Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

    Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

  • How are dogs and addicts similar?

    They both have PAWS

  • Which country has a drug-addicted king?


  • What's the most popular religion for addicts?

    the Crystal Methodists

  • What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

    A quackhead.

  • What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

    A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

  • What do you call a drug-addicted canine?

    A meth lab!