Alabama Jokes

  • What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama?

    Too soon.

  • What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs?

    Drool

  • What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student?

    I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"

  • How do dating sites in Alabama save money?

    They link to Ancestry.com

  • What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

    Wham, bam, thank you fam"

  • What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

    Build a house next to it.

  • What is a worm's favorite city in Alabama?

    Squirming-ham

  • How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

    Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

  • How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear?

    Yellow in the front, brown in the back.

  • How does Alabama keep alcohol out of high school?

    Change the drinking age to 25

  • What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

    Interracial

  • How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

    One Mississippi.

  • Why are Alabama weddings so small?

    They've only gotta invite one family

  • Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama?

    They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

  • What Do You Call A Winery In Alabama?

    Vineyard Skynyrd

  • What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

    Role tied.

  • How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

    Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common?

    They can both live off a dead bear for years.

  • Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

    He refused to integrate.

  • Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

    So they can park in handicap spots.

  • Why is Alabama the smartest state?

    Because it has four A's and one B.

  • Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich?

    Because the whole state is inbred

  • What's the best part of living in Alabama?

    You don't live in Mississippi.

  • Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

    Everyone has the same DNA.

  • What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

    Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

  • Why is an Alabama divorce like a tornado?

    One way or the other someone is losing a trailer.

  • What do you call an Alabama woman who can run faster than her brother?

    virgin

  • What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?

    They were both fingered by their brother.

  • Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

    Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)