Alarm Clock Jokes

  • What time does an engineer set his alarm clock for?

    Around Thevenin the morning

  • What do you call a screaming timepiece?

    An alarmed clock.

  • What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

    He always came on time.

  • What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

    A: Catsup!

  • What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

    You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

  • Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

    So he could wake up inside.

  • Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

    After the ring, you wake up!

  • How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

    She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.