Arrest Jokes

  • Why was the energizer bunny arrested?

    He got a battery charge.

  • Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

    Because he needed *arrest*!!!

  • What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

    So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

  • Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

    Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

  • Why was the violin coach arrested ?

    He was fiddling with the kids. *

  • Why was the liquor trader arrested?

    Because he was in cider trading

  • What did Bill Cosby say when he was arrested?

    Hey, hey, hey, it was only a pudding pop!

  • Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

    It always had some sort of weed on it!

  • Why was the battery arrested ?

    cuz it was charged with electricity .

  • Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?

    Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!

  • Why did the tortoise get arrested?

    Because he got there before the hare.

  • Why was the garbage man arrested?

    Because he was bin laden.

  • Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas?

    I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.

  • Why did the felon have so much energy?

    He was well arrested!

  • Why did the calculus students get arrested?

    For drinking and deriving.

  • Why is Arrested Development funny?

    Because the farce is strong with that one.

  • Why do rappers always get arrested?

    Because he who did the rhyme did the crime

  • What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving ?

    A road hog !

  • Why were the suspenders arrested?

    A: For holding up a pair of pants.

  • Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

    Because he took the stairs.

  • Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

    He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

  • What would you do?

    Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.

  • Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

    He was caught taking a leek.

  • Why did Snoop Dogg get arrested?


  • Why did the duck get arrested?

    because he was smoking quack!

  • What do ghosts get arrested for?


  • Why was the bodybuilder arrested at the elementary school?

    Because it was a gun-free zone

  • Why was the black man arrested?

    Good question.

  • Why were the ducks arrested?

    They were selling quack in the park.

  • What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

    A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

  • What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

    I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

  • What was the demon arrested for?


  • Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

    He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

  • Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

    Coz he was high :D

  • Why did the insomniac get arrested?

    He resisted a rest.

  • Why did the suspenders get arrested?

    A: Because they held up a pair of pants.

  • Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

    Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

  • What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

    New Recruit: Call for backup!

  • Where do esport players go if they get arrested?

    Guantanamo ebay

  • What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for?


  • Why was Ke$ha arrested?

    TiK ToK On The Clock

  • Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

    He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

  • Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

    It was selling coke.

  • Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep?

    Because he was on the lam.

  • Why did the belt get arrested?

    Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.

  • Why was the communist arrested?

    He was caught red handed.

  • Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?

    He was selling ill-eagle drugs.

  • Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

    because he was following people before instagram

  • What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

    gets arrested*

  • Why was the pianist arrested?

    He was caught playing in A minor.

  • Why did you arrest that doctor?

    Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

  • What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

    A: He got arrested just like you would've.

  • Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport?

    She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.

  • Why did the police arrest the Christmas goose?

    They suspected it of fowl play.

  • Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy?

    He kept on and on about his mateys.

  • What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground?

    Possession within tent

  • Why was the geologist arrested?

    He was doing crystal math.

  • What happened to the pie dish that got arrested?

    He was foiled.

  • Why did the lettuce get arrested?

    for disturbing the peas!

  • What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

    DU-WHY !

  • Why was the geophysicist arrested?

    He was doing crystal math.

  • Why did the feminist get triggered?

    The police found it easier than arresting her.

  • Why black people are so good with basketball?

    They can shoot and steal without being arrested.

  • How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

    Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

  • Why did two owls get arrested for the same crime?

    They were in ca .

  • Why was the man arrested for having his skin flute played?

    It was in A-minor

  • Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

    Because it was a kitty fiddler.

  • Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

    Because he was trying to detonate a Samsung Note 7.

  • How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

    Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

  • Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey?

    Because all proper tea is theft.

  • Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

    He was wanted for several charges of battery

  • Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

    As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

  • Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

    Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

  • Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

    Sounds like he had already done the... time

  • Why did the ghost go to jail?

    He got arrested for possession.

  • Why was the Human Torch arrested?

    He had firearms.

  • Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

    They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

  • Why did the asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

    It was a Regal

  • Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

    Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

  • How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb?

    Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke.

  • Why was the musician arrested?

    He got in treble.

  • Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

    Because he was going *to fast*!

  • Why was Aron Ralston arrested by the FBI?

    For giving arms to Iraq.

  • What does an elite hacker get after being arrested?


  • Why was the baseball player arrested?

    He was involved in a hit-and-run.

  • Why was the heroin dealer arrested at the basketball game?

    He was talking smack.

  • Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?

    She was charged with rustling!

  • Why did the demon get arrested?


  • What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?


  • Why was the circuit arrested?

    Because it was charged with battery!

  • Why did they arrest the musician?

    He got into treble.

  • Why are they arresting that dog?

    What did he do ! ' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car

  • Why did the photographer get arrested?

    He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

  • Why was the lobster arrested?

    Because he was always pinching things.

  • How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, they arrest the room because it's black.

  • Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

    Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

  • Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

    Because its leaves rustled.

  • What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

    Oh give it arrest.

  • Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

    He was caught doing lines of math!

  • Why was Donald Duck arrested?

    He was high on quack.

  • What did the devil get arrested for?


  • Why are there no black magicians?

    They get arrested when they make something disappear.

  • What did the police say to the hot dog?

    You are under arrest.

  • Why was the cookie monster arrested for computer hacking?

    He was in possession of all the "COOKIES"

  • What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

    Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

  • Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

    Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

  • Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

    Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

  • Why was the horse farmer arrested?

    He was raising a colt.

  • Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

    That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

  • Why did the dry cleaners get shut down?

    The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing

  • Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

    He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

  • Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested?

    Because he needed one.

  • Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested?