Asian Jokes
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What do you call an asian who hates black people?
A member of the Kru Krux Kran
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What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space?
Illegal Aryans
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What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?
I like little asian kids
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What do you call a lost Asian man?
Disoriental
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What do Asian pirates say?
ELLLLLLL!!!
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What do you call a promiscious asian lady?
A yellow taxi.
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What did the asian parents call their retarded son?
Sum ting wong
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What are Asian Tennis Players most well known for?
The Back Hand
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What did the asian couple name their black baby?
Sum sing wong
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How do you know if a guy has an asian wife?
He'll tell you.
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How do you know if an Asian is depressed?
All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.
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What do you call an Asian boy with downs?
Lo Mein. See you all in hell.
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How do you blindfold an Asian woman?
Put a windshield in front of her.
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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?
A car thief who can't drive
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Why do asians squint all the time?
Because nukes are so bright
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What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?
Irene
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What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS?
RICE-IS
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How do you know an Asian has robbed your house?
They're still in your driveway
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Why will there never be an Asian president?
Because the American people could never make it through the erection without raughing.
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What did the grad students call the new Asian post-doc?
The Yellow Fellow.
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What do you get when you cross a black and asian man?
slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.
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What do you call an Asian driveby?
Cap-a-chino
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What do you call an Asian man with one leg?
Tai-Wan-Shu
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How do you confuse an asian?
Put a steering wheel in front of them
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What's Asian on top and black on bottom?
IQ distribution graph
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What do you call a dirty Chinese crab?
A crusty asian
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What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?
Ping Lo.
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What do you call an Asian wearing contacts?
Customization. GET IT CUSTOM EYES ASIAN!!!
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Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face?
He couldn't see it coming
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What do you call a perfect society formed by an Asian?
A Yutopia
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How can you instantly blind an Asian person?
put a steering wheel in front of them
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What's the difference between an Asian and a dumb white girl?
The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D
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Why do certain asian boxers hate the Rebel Alliance?
Because they are Thai fighters.
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What is the weakest armour made out of?
Asian People
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How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.
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What is the cheapest way to blindfold an Asian?
Dental floss.
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What do you call an Asian person that is hit by a car?
Hood orient
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What do you call an asian golddigger?
Cha Ching
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What do you call a woman with one leg?
Ilene What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene
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What do you call a horny asian woman?
Actually, I'm not going to finish that. It's a slippery slope.
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What do you call an Asian who is always on time?
Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha.
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What do you call an Asian Pothead camping in Yellowstone?
A Yellowstoner.
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What do you call a dizzy Asian?
Disoriented.
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What's a neckbeard's favorite asian country?
M'Laysia
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What's the difference between racism and asians?
Racism has many faces.
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Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow?
Sincerely, confused.
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How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?
Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented
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What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?
Pai-Ling
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How do you describe a boring, Asian, black and white film?
Anti-chromactic
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Why isn't the speed of light Asian?
Because it never gets better than a 'C'.
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What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?
Disoriented.
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What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
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What do you call a asian and a black guy??
A math problem.
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How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them
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What do you call an Asian gangster wearing a blue bandana?
A rice crippy.
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What does an Asian chicken sound like?
Bok Bok Bok CHOY
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What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea?
A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy
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What do you call an Asian gold digger?
Cha Ching
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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene. What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Irene
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Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women?
It can be a slippery slope.
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What does an Asian get?
A broken nose.
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Why do Asian woman have small breasts?
Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.
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Why can't an Asian couple have a white child?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
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What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?
Ugh.... Pho queue...
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How do you blindfold an Asian person?
You put floss over his eyes.
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What do you call a one-legged asian woman?
Irene
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What does an Asian man do during an erection?
Vote.
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What do you call an Asian pothead?
Tao Lee
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Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?
Everywhere.
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How do you know that an Asian has robbed your house?
Your mailbox is missing!
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What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time?
Occasionally (OK Asian Lee).
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What do you call an Asian girl with Mexican parents?
Juana Sum Peeksa.
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What would you call Vanilla Ice if he was asian?
Yellow Snow.
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What is so bad about being half black and half asian?
You can steal a car but you can't drive it.
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What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?
Fleas!
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What do you call an "Asian" that loves using moisturizer?
Laotian.
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Why do Asian students do so well in school?
Because an Asian without A's is a sin
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Why can't Asian couples have a caucasian child?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
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What's a let down Chinese lobster called?
A crushed asian
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How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?
Ni-Hao-dy"
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Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?
Because they have durian...
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What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?
10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion
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What do you call an Asian that has an extra neutron?
A Riceotope
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What do you call a calm Asian?
A Mellow Yellow
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What do you call a confused Asian?
Disoriental.
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What do you call Asian quadruplets?
4chan
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What do you tell someone from Moscow if he's in a hurry?
Q: What do you tell someone from Moscow who is in a hurry? A: Quit Russian. Q: What do you call a Mexican pessimist? A: A Mexican't Q: What do you call a German who is urinating in an alley? A: A you're a peein'. Q: What does an Asian person have if their leg joints are socially awkward? A: Shy knees. Q: What is a Parisian country cover band's favorite song to play? A: "I've got France in low places."
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What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called?
A Yutopia
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What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district?
Vachina Town
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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?
All rice, all rice, all rice
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What happens if an Asian gets stung by a bee?
Their GPA drops
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What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent?
A slippery slope.
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What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?
One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.
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Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?
They are both crushed-asians
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What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies?
Make-bereave
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What do you call an asian who flies planes?
A pilot.
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What's the similarity between an Asian and Spongebob?
Both are yellow and can't drive.
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What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?
Panda-monium.
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What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show?
A wok-through.
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What do you call an Asian Terrorist group?
Rice-is
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How often did the asian cow go to the gym?
Dairy
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What's the difference between a Caucasian and an asian?
The cauc.
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What's an Asian's favorite time to go to the dentist?
tooth-hurty
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What are some good Asian jokes you know?
I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.
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Why do white people rely on asians so much?
Because without them, they'd just be cauc.
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What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind?
Fa Ting
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What do you call an Asian getting mugged?
Black and Yellow
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What do you call an Asian lobster?
A crustasian
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What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?
A herrocopter
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What did the Asian pirate do when he saw a crowd?
He fry through it!
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What do you call an Asian penguin?
A penguyen
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Why are asians bad at football?
They are always going the Wong way.
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What's black, white, asian, and mexican?
A lazy panda.
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What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife?
Me love you wrong time.
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What do you call an Asian who acts like he is black?
A ripe bananna
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How do you make an Asian Blind?
you put a windshield in front of them
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What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
Toof Hurty.
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What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom?
Rover Flows Out Of You.
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What did they stamp on the Asian baby as he came out of his mother's womb?
Made in Va-China.
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How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian?
dereted
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Where does a one-legged woman work?
What's her name? Eileen If she's Asian what's her name? Irene /goingtohellforthis
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Why can't Asian parents make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white
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How do you get an Asian to crash their car?
Make the windshield full screen
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Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?
Because he just couldn't bereave it.
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What do you call an Asian lady with a Mixmaster on her head?
Brenda
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What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?
Xu wong
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What do you call an Asian woman on the moon?
an Astronaut
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What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to?
Earl Lee
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What do you call an asian walking a dog?
A vegetarian.
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What do Asian pirates do?
They fry pranes
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What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!"
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What do you call an Asian cow in space?
The Milky Wei.
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Why do Asian people never seem to age?
I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.
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What do you call a quiet asian?
Silent-li
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What do you call an Asian in a tank?
A chink in the armor.
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Why do asian parents give their children short names?
More time on tests.
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What is the least racist animal?
A panda. It's black, it's white and it's Asian.
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What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?
One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.
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What do Asian people use as blindfolds?
Shoe laces.
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How do you blind fold an asian?
You put floss over their eyes!
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What do you call an emotionless Asian woman?
A rice queen!
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Why has there never been an Asian president?
Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours
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What do you call an Asian man blowing another guy?
A Brojob.
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What does an Asian with the biggest erection get when he walks into a wall?
A broken nose.
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What happens when you step on an oily asian?
Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope.
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What did the asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade?
Bangladesh
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What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?
All they talk about is the presidential erection
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What do you call a confused Asian person?
Disoriental.
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What do you call an Asian flying a plane?
A pirate.
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Why do all Asian kids get straight A's?
Because the ones that don't are never heard from again. I'll be here all day folks.
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What do you call a hairpiece on an Asian guy?
an Oriental Rug.
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Why can't two Asian parents have a Caucasian baby?
Two Wongs don't make a white
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What's it called when a transgender person hooks up with an Asian?
A Trans Pacific Partnership
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Why do asians got to the hospital after voting?
Everyone knows that you should see a doctor for an erection that last longer than 4 hours.
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What do you call a well-endowed Asian man?
Hung Lo
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Why do Asian parents never have a white baby?
Cause two Wongs don't make a white
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How do you blind an Asian woman?
Put a windshield in front of her.
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How do Asian's name their children?
Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*
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What's it called when an Asian man gives his best friend head?
A bro job.
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What do you call a calm Asian man?
A Mellow Yellow
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Why did the asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?
It was a Regal
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What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?
A criminal mastermind ...
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What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other?
Irene
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What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
Irene
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What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms?
Kung Pao Chicken
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What, I'm Asian?
slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*
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What about Fergdudaughter?
Must have Asian parents.
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What do you call a black Asian bird?
Croatian.
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Why don't asians like to applause?
Because every time they do all they do is crap
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Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?
Neither. It's a Thai.
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How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.
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Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?
He sat under the durian tree.
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What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?
The Sound of Sirens
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What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?
OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)
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How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground?
I thought Asian women couldn't drive ಠಠ
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What's the hardest part of golf for asians?
Driving
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How does the Asian chef get to work?
He woks.
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What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha Ching!*
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Why are there no asian knights?
Armor is pretty much useless once there's a chink in it.
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Who won the Asian cooking contest?
It was a Thai!
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What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?
They break their nose!
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What's an asian's favorite drug?
HERROine
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Why do asians have such squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.
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What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island?
Malaise-ia
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What do you call a productive Asian?
China get something done.
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What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian?
Orientation.
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How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?
All the Mexicans have car insurance.