Asians Jokes

  • How do Asians see the world?

    In widescreen.

  • Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands?

    If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands."

  • What do Asians do when they have erections?

    They vote

  • How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

    2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

  • What about Asians and Hispanics?

    What they really need is

  • Why Asians are good at everything?

    Because they're Asians, not Bsians

  • What do you call someone who is racist against Asians?


  • Why do Asians prefer Sony?

    Because it's a stereo type

  • Why are Asians bad at golf?

    They don't know how to drive.

  • Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

    because their future is so bright

  • Why don't Asians make good Knights?

    Because then there would be a chink in the armor.

  • Why are Asians no good a football ( soccer) ?

    Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop !

  • What do you call a fish out of water?

    Asians? Idk it's been a rough day.

  • How do Asians execute white people?

    They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

  • What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians?

    Asians don't have the "cauc".

  • Why can't two Asians make their own Caucasian babes?

    Because two wongs don't make a white!

  • What do the Chinese call their spies?

    Secret Asians.

  • How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

    2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

  • Which Asians have the softest skin?


  • Why don't Asians get constipated?

    Because of their frequent bow movements.

  • Why can't two Asians make a Caucasian?

    Because two wongs don't make a white.

  • Why do Asians have squinty eye balls?

    Because Atomic Bombs are pretty bright...

  • Why can't Asians make white babies?

    Because two Wongs don't make a white

  • How are Asians and Smart Cars similar?

    They are yellow can they only hold small packages

  • How can you tell if Asians have broken into your house?

    The dog is gone, the homework is done, and they're still trying to get out of the driveway.

  • Why do Asians like to have military time on?

    So they can do math

  • How do Asians find our they are pregnant?

    They send a rubix cube up to see if it gets solved.

  • What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?

    A cross-wok.

  • Why are Asians not optimistic?

    Because they have a limited view of life.

  • Why are there so many Asians?

    Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

  • What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

    A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

  • What do Asians do during an erection?

    They vote

  • How do Asians name their babies?

    They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes.

  • What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say?

    Where my dogs at "

  • Why do Asians squint with their eyes?

    Because bombs are bright.

  • How do you call people that are always squinting at you?


  • Why can't two Asians have a white baby?

    Because two wongs don't make a white