Attack Jokes

  • Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

    Same reason children don't attack their parents...

  • What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal?

    Claude

  • How would you describe the woman who attacked you?

    Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*

  • Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

    Professional courtesy

  • Who would you save first?

    Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

  • What do you do if you're attacked by a bunch of Carnies?

    Go for the Jugular (juggler)!

  • What do you do when a bird attacks you?

    Duck.

  • How many gears does a French battle tank have?

    Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

  • Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

    they only had one pickup

  • What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

    A seasoned veteran

  • What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride?

    That's a salt!

  • Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ?

    Because it didn't happen in 7/11

  • What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you?

    Go for the juggler.

  • What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns?

    Go for the juggler

  • How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

    Go for the juggler

  • How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?

    He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

  • What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

    Claude

  • What do you call a hip-hop trio with boosted Attack but hindered Special Attack?

    Naughty by Nature

  • What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say?

    That's a salt!

  • What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

    Go for the juggler.

  • What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns?

    Go for the juggler.

  • Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

    Because the Knights are shorter then.

  • What happens to someone who gets attacked by bees?

    They get bee'd up

  • What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

    The Adhomineminal Snowman

  • What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

    Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

  • What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?

    Kelp!

  • What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear?

    Claude

  • Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring?

    He was a master of blocking attacks.

  • What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

    Go straight for the juggler.

  • What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

    my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

  • Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

    Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

  • What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

    Go for the juggler

  • What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

    10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

  • What do you call a group of rioters attacking a music store?

    Luters

  • What happens when Bosnian terrorists start attacking municipal government buildings?

    It Herzegovina

  • What do Australian terrorists say before attacking?

    Uluruakbar