Attend Jokes

  • Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

    There were too many vets.

  • What do you call a meeting exclusively attended by pine, juniper and fir trees?

    A coniference.

  • Why did the skeleton not attend prom?

    He had no body to go with.

  • Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

    It's already got thousands of degrees.

  • Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

    It already has at least hundred degrees

  • Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

    The guest of honor always shows up late!

  • Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

    The steaks were getting too damn high.

  • What do you call a snowman who cons people?

    A snowfake I thought it was appropriate for this time of year. Merry Christmas reddit! You have my permission to tell this at any Xmas parties you attend

  • What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?


  • Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

    He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

  • Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

    Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

  • What kind of church does a triangle attend?


  • Why didn't the insomniac attend his uncle's funeral?

    he's not a mourning person

  • Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

    50 Cent ft. Nickelback

  • What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

    None attended the University of Miami.

  • Why did the chicken attend the seance?

    To get to the other side.

  • Where did the universe attend college?

    At the university.