Bag Jokes
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How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?
Nobody likes the black ones.
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What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?
One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!
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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?
Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.
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A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.
I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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What do you call a bag of tiny crosses?
Jesus Pieces.
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What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.
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How does a psychic open a bag of chips?
They Tarot.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Why did the cat befriend the dog?
Because the dog let the cat out of the bag! Haha!
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Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....
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What's purple and sequels?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals
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What's that in the bag?
An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."
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What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?
They pilaf. I'll show my way out
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Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?
He had Jello fever!
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What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?
Grounds for termination.
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What are you doing, dad?
Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"
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Why do grocery stores double-bag everything?
Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!
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What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?
an asymp-tote*
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Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?
Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag
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What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four
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How's everyone else holding up?
Anyone know why they all have bags of candy
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Why'd the vulture check his bag?
The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.
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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?
I don't have a mercedes in my garage!
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What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony
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Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?
They can lighten your load !
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What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?
The bag of rice can feed a family of four.
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Why do Kenyans always win marathons?
At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-
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What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?
Because it's traveling light!
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What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
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What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.
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What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?
I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window
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Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?
The kernel was looking for him.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window
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How much do the potatoes cost?
How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"
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What will I have at the end of the day?
Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.
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Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
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Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I'm going home now.
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How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.
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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?
One I say one.
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How does Bilbo take his tea?
Bag-in
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What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?
At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.
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Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?
If there were one more it would be two-farty!
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What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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What's the best thing about portugal?
You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!
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What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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How much for the soulmate?
Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.
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What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?
Jackpot!
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What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?
Snakes and Larders !sna
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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine & a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...
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What's red and loud?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
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What's red and white and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
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When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?
I replied "No, she's not that ugly"
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!
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What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.
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What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon