Ball Jokes
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What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?
You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.
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What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head?
Duck!
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What do Limas Sweed and Bruce Jenner have in common?
Neither can keep track of their balls
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Why are dogs in a lot of pain?
Because they chew balls.
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What's the most sought after ball in Biopsy Bingo?
B9
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Why couldn't cinderella play soccer?
She always ran away from the ball
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team?
She kept running from the ball.
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What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?
Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.
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Why doesnt Nickelback play football?
Because even if they had 4 players they still couldnt throw a ball.
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How do you know when you're in a true, tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool tables have no balls
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Why are drug addicts bad at billiards?
Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball
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Why didn't the lesbian cross the road?
She didn't have the balls to do it
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What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor?
A pedal physician in the fetal position.
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When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?
When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.
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Why did the elephant paint his balls red?
What makes the loudest noise in the jungle?
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Why does society think less of a man when he strikes a woman instead of sparing them?
Because a strike only requires one ball while a spare requires two balls
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Why didn't Cinderella makes the Soccer Team?
She kept running away from the ball
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What did one strand of yarn say to the other?
I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."
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What's the coldest part of a man's body?
His balls. Two below.
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team?
She kept running away from the ball.
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What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?
She had mittens !
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Why do dogs lick their balls ?
Because they can.
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Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?
Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...
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When do you kick a midget in the balls?
When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What does Belathor call his balls?
His treasures.
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Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?
It was low hanging fruit.
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Why don't girls in San Francisco wear skirts?
Their balls would fall out.
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Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop?
Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)
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How many balls does Fred have?
10
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Why don't blondes wear mini skirts in San Francisco?
Their balls will show.
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What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?
You look quite put-together this evening.
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What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe!
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Why don't your balls like being chomped on?
It makes them a bit teste.
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What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The Philadelphia Beagles!
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What do you call an alien with three balls?
E.T. the extra testicle.
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Why didn't the girl cross the street?
She didn't have the balls
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Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She kept running away from the ball
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What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?
He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.
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What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
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What do a Christmas tree and a sterile man have in common?
Their balls are for decoration only.
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Why was pregnant Cinderella late to the ball?
Miscarriage
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What goes "ha ha, thump thump?
A guy laughing his balls off.
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What do priests and christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.
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Why did the Tinman not go to the ball?
His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
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How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?
The domesticated doesnt have balls
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How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?
Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.
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What does an electric engineer say when they get kicked in the balls?
Owch! it hertz
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How do you know if balls are ticklish?
Testicle
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How do you shave your balls?
After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"
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What did cinderella do when she reached the ball?
She choked.
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What does it mean if you look down and see four balls instead of two?
Careful, you might be getting screwed.
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Why did the elephant paint his balls green?
Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados
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What do you call a dog with no hind legs and balls of steel?
Sparky
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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?
makes choking sounds*
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Whats bigger than your balls?
The moon
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How do you make a snooker table laugh?
Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.
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Why did the clown refuse to juggle?
He didn't have the balls to do it.
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When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls?
When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good.
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Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born?
Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones.
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How do you know you are in a real lesbian bar?
Not even the pool table has balls
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What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?
Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.
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Why does superman have balls of steel?
I wouldn't know, i don't know the canon that well
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What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common?
If you're not careful, you can pop a ball.
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Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Because she keeps running away from the ball
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?
Because she ran away from the ball!
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Why is the pool table green?
If you got your balls kicked around, I think you would be green too.
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Why were my balls wet?
cause i dipped em' in the wishing well! LOL
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What did Cinderella say before she got to the ball?
Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)
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Why was the Narwhal kicked off the volleyball team?
He was always spiking the ball.
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What do Justin Beiber and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are only for decoration.
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What slides in and out until it's balls are busted?
Piston
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Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.
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What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer?
He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them.
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What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?
You need to cul de sac.
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What do you get when you have two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention!
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What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball?
Nothing, she just made gagging noises
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Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?
Cause they don't have balls to scratch
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Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?
Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child
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Where r my legal briefs?
Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Basketball team?
Cause she ran away from the ball
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When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?
Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown
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What is Long, has two balls and you lift it ?
A dumbell
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What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?
She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.
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Why didn't the shy juggler perform at the circus today?
Because he didn't have the balls!
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What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years?
The balls drop.
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What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?
Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."
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How do you make a blind moan?
Kick him in the balls
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Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house?
She didn't have the balls.
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What do a wicked stepmother and a gag reflex have in common?
They both keep you from getting to the ball!
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Why was Cinderalla thrown out of the football team?
Because she ran away from the ball.
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What do Christmas trees and The Pope have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration only
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What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?
Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones
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What do you do meet an old friend?
What do you do when someone throws a ball What do you put on a hamburger What do you find in a litter box
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Why did Bibi Netanyahu lie on a couch licking his balls?
Likud.
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Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?
Because the censor erased the letter "s".
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What do you call a dachshund with no hind legs and balls of steel?
Sparky.
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How does Times Square start the new year?
By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."
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What do you call it when your balls are in the street?
It's Cul de sac!
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What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
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What do you call someone who worships balls?
Sack-religious.
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What has six balls and screws everybody?
The lottery.
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What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo.
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How do u get a pool table to laugh?
tickle its balls.
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How does a elephant hide in the jungle?
2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples.
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Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team?
She ran away from the ball.
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What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?
DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME
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Why is a pool table green?
Well you'd be green too if someone racked your balls.
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How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?
Give them a test-tickle
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What do The Pope & a Christmas Tree have in common?
The balls are just for decoration.
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Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls?
So they don't have hairballs!
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How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball?
Europe"
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What do you call people pretending to be a ball?
roll playing im sry
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What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot?
Elton John's chin.
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What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?
A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.
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What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?
A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans
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What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife?
Only one shows an interest in the balls.
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When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?
She had a ball
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What do you call a man who is too proud of his balls ?
Ego-Testicle.
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How did I get the balls to write such a grotesque joke?
Gruesome.
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What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?
cough* *cough*
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Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?
She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.
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How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years?
Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!
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What if I color on you?
What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog
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Why did the dog keep dropping his ball?
He had barkinsons disease.
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How can you tell if she is virgin or not?
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel. Paddy asked, And what do I do with these, doc? The doctor replied, Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, Thats the strangest pair of balls I ever saw., you hit her with the shovel.
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Who won the race between two balls of string?
They we're tied!
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What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?
Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.
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What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration
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What is big and red and rolls over in the snow?
Santa Claus hit in the balls!
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Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch?
They couldn't fined him.
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What did the elephant say?
What did the elephant say when it was pulled out of a pit by the Balls? Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Ball!
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How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Hide the ball it drives them nuts!
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What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement?
A: Sparky.
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What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z?
Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!
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What does it mean if a dude looks down and sees four balls instead of two?
He needs to be very careful, because he may be getting screwed.
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Why don't snakes have balls?
Because hardly any of them know how to dance.
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What happened to the cant when it ate a ball of wool?
What happened to the cat when it ate a ball of wool? It had mittens
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What Do you Call a Bowler that drops his ball a lot?
Gutterfingers!
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Why did the operation Barbarossa fail?
The supreme commander didn't have the balls required.
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Why don't women wear skirts in San Fransisco?
Because their balls would show.
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What does a priest and a christmas tree have in common?
The balls are for decoration!
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Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?
A. Because they don't have balls to itch.
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Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?
Because he rarely shaved the balls.
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What do you call a dog with no legs and balls of steal?
Sparkie.
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Why does a dog lick his balls?
Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist
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What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Guurrhggrgrh
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Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
She kept running away from the ball
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Who's there ! Astor ! Astor who ?
Astor the ball is over !
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What did Cindarella say when she got to the ball?
Gluk gluk gluk (say it out loud)
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What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration
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Which is the toughest tree?
A Christmas Tree because it has the most balls
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Why are police officers bad at Billiards?
They hit eight ball first because it was black.
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How does one know if balls are ticklish?
Test-Tickle.
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What do you call balls on the wall?
Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin My throne
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Why does a dog lick it's balls?
Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out.
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Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports?
Because she always ran away from the ball <p> My favorite joke since I was little
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How do you make a pool table laugh?
Jiggle its balls
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Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes.
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Why is Cinderella so bad at football?
A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball
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What do The Pope & a Christmas Tree have in common?
The balls are just for decoration.