Bath Jokes

  • When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath what is still dirty?

    The bathtub.

  • What did the Monkey say when his bath was too hot?

    Ooh-Ooh-Aah- Aah

  • Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

    Robber ducks !

  • What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

    Throw in your washing.

  • What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

    throw a load of dirty laundry in.

  • What criminal doesn't take baths?

    A dirty crook.

  • Why did the ocean take a bath?

    It had a sandy bottom.

  • What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

    6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

  • What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

    Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

  • Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

    Because he plays with Pooh all day.

  • How do you know that there's a monster in your bath?

    You can't get the shower curtain closed.

  • How about a dirty one as well?

    Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

  • Where does a vampire take a bath?

    In the bat-room (bathroom).

  • What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?

    The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure.

  • What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

    One has hope in her soul...

  • When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?

    D

  • What has six eyes but cannot see?

    Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath

  • How do you call for a bath?

    With a Teletubbie.

  • How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

    Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

  • Which villains steal soap from the bath?

    Robber ducks.

  • Why did the burgler take a bath?

    He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'.

  • Why do you take baths in milk?

    I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

  • What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?

    The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!

  • What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?

    Porridge.

  • Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

    He can't get out of a bath.

  • Why did the bank robber take a bath?

    So he could make a clean getaway.

  • Why'd the robber take a bath?

    A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

  • What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?

    After a week he was spotless !

  • What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

    The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

  • Why did the thief take a bath?

    To get a clean getaway

  • What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

    Polly unsaturated!

  • What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?

    One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole

  • What kind of bath can you take without water?

    A sun bath.

  • What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ?

    A little bear !

  • Why did the robber take a bath?

    So he could make a clean getaway.

  • How do you get a German out of the bath?

    A: Turn on the water.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a nun in a bath?

    One has a soul full of hope and the other has a hole full of soap.

  • What's Jay-z's favorite store?

    Bed, bath and Beyond-ce.

  • What breed of dog loves to take a bath?

    A shampoodle

  • What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

    You can't step out of them in public.

  • What makes fish smell?

    One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

  • What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

    Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

  • What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

    One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

  • What can we do to stop polluting our waters ?

    Pupil: Stop taking baths

  • What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath?

    One has hope in her soul...