Bathroom Jokes
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What do you call the surveillance system that watches us all whilst we are in the bathroom?
the panoptijohn
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Why were there balloons in the bathroom?
There was a birthday potty.
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How do old people go to the bathroom?
Depends.
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What are you in the bathroom?
European
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Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.
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What do you call a group of hoes in a bathroom?
r/showerthoughts
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What do you say when a corrupt Soviet takes a bathroom break right before war?
Now you're just Stallin.
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Why can't you hear it when a pteranodon goes to the bathroom?
Because they're all dead.
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What are you when you're in the bathroom?
European
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What's the best thing about a swimming pool bar?
There's never a line for the bathroom.
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What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?
One has a job.
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What do you do in the bathroom if you are trying to waste time?
Stall
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What do the bathroom doors at the funeral home say?
His and Hearse.
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Why did the chicken run around screaming?
Because he had to use the bathroom.
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Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom?
Because it might Pikachu.
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Why can't the porcelain king go to the bathroom?
He was dethroned.
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Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?
He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.
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Where does batman go to the bathroom?
The batroom.
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Why was Piglet in the bathroom?
He was looking for Pooh.
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What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom?
They take an aspie
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What does Justin Timberlake say when he goes to the bathroom?
It's Gonna be Pee"
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How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A. Three if you slice them very thinly.
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Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom?
Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door.
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What do you call a place where Mexicans go to the bathroom?
A deport-a-potty.
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What did the vowel say when it had to go to the bathroom?
I need to do a vowel movement!
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How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?
He leaves a dark mark
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Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate his pizza before it was cool. (Written anonymously in the bathroom at work, a pizza joint.)
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How was the Irish Jig invented?
To much beer and not enough bathrooms
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What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?
A Waterloo
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Where do bees go to the bathroom?
The BP station.
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How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots
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How long is one minute?
It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?
The p is silent.
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Where are you going to keep them ?
Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them !
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Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?
She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.
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Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?
The robber ducky
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Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
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What broke?
opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom
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Why do blonde girls go to the bathroom in groups of three?
Because they can't even
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What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?
A swipe and wipe.
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Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?
Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.
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Where do bees go to the bathroom at?
at the
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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?
European
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What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?
The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.
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Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?
Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.
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Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent
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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
The p is silent.
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What do you call a European using the bathroom?
You're-a-peein"
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What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?
Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).
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Why don't you take Pokemon to the bathroom with you?
because they might Pikachu!
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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France?
Linoleum Blownapart
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Why are we at Home Depot?
Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.
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How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?
OC By process of elimination.
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How many Germans does it take to tile a bathroom?
Only one, if you cut him thin enough.
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Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?
Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because pterodactyls are extinct.
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What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?
Nothing, the pee is silent
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Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s?
Because they literally can't even.
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How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?
Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
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What did the choir teacher say to the student who asked to use the bathroom?
Of chorus.
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Where is the bathroom for I.T people located?
At the I pee address.
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How does a mathematician go to the bathroom?
He works it out with a pencil.
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How does a police officer go to the bathroom?
Ctrl+C
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What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?
A dookie
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What kind of plants grow in bathrooms?
Toilet trees.
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What happens when you go to the bathroom scared?
A spooky dookie.
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Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?
In a Parma-John.
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What musical instrument can be found in nearly every Bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
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What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?
It's Gonna Be Pee"
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What do French people say after they've gone to the bathroom?
Au revoir poo poo
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Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?
A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!
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Which Shampoo They Preferred?
The Top Answers Was: Get The Hell Out Of My Bathroom!
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What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom?
Rover Flows Out Of You.
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Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups?
Cause they're a bunch of pussies.
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What bathroom does Roy G. Biv use?
The colored one.
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Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?
Because their p is quiet.
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What was left in the bathroom on the starship Enterprise?
The Captain's Log.
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How does Queen Elizabeth win a game of poker?
She goes to the bathroom.
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What did the dance instructor say to her student when the student wanted to use her bathroom?
Skip to my loo.
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What does a networking robot say when returning from the bathroom?
Sorry, I http"
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What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
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Where does a vampire take a bath?
In the bat-room (bathroom).