Batman Jokes

  • What's the difference between Batman and Martin Brodeur?

    Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.

  • What does Batman put in his beverages?

    Just ice.

  • Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house?

    They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

  • What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

    Christian Bale.

  • What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?

    Batman can go out at night without Robin

  • What would batman do if he wasn't rich?

    He would be robin.

  • Why does Batman wear a mask?

    Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

  • What's the difference between batman and a blackman?

    Batman can go to the store with out robin.

  • Why did batman leave church?

    Because Christian Baled

  • What do black people and Batman have in common?

    Neither one of them get r/dadjokes

  • What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

    Make it Wayne.

  • Why does Batman think so highly about himself?

    Bruce Wayne.

  • What does Batman do with all his spare money?

    He makes it wayne

  • Where does batman go to the bathroom?

    The batroom.

  • What's the difference between batman and a black person?

    Batman can go to the store without robin'

  • Why did Batman go to the corner store?

    FOR JUST ICE

  • Whats the difference between Batman and a Blackman?

    Batman can go into a store without robin....

  • What does Batman put in his drinks?

    Just ice.

  • What does Batman like with his whiskey?

    Gravely voice) "Just ice."

  • Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

    Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

  • What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

    Nothing. She's dead.

  • What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents?

    Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.

  • What's the difference between Batman, and a black man?

    Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!

  • What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

    Just-ice

  • What's the difference between a black man and Batman?

    Batman can go inside a store without Robin

  • What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

    Christian Bale.

  • What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

    Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

  • What is the difference between batman and a black guy?

    Batman can walk into a store without Robin

  • How is Batman different from a black man?

    Batman can go in a store without Robin.

  • What did batman say to the joker when he finally caught him?

    Gotham

  • Why Didn't Batman Go To Church?

    Because of Christian Bail

  • What does Batman take with his drinks?

    Just ice

  • What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

    Batman's Parents.

  • What does batman take in his whiskey?

    Just ice.

  • What does Batman like in his lemonade?

    Just ice.

  • Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

    Because he wanted just ice.

  • Who's gonna be Batman?

    leaves Earth*

  • What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman?

    The Dark Knight Rises.

  • What's the difference between Black man, and Batman?

    Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.

  • What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

    Christian Bale.

  • What is Batman's favorite sport?

    Baseball.

  • What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

    They got Bale.

  • What would make Batman really salty?

    Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-

  • What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?

    Dew diligance

  • What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

    Gotham?

  • What to you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a car?

    A: Flatman and Ribbon

  • Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

    Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

  • Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

    Because it was rated "PG"

  • Why did Batman climb the tree?

    He was looking for Robin's nest.

  • What did the anti-joker say to the joker?

    I'm Batman.

  • What does Batman use to wash his hair?

    Conditioner Gordon.

  • What type of movies can't batman see?

    Parental Guidance.

  • What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman?

    What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!

  • How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

    She doesn't because she's dead.

  • What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

    A Christian Bale

  • How does batman order his iced water?

    Can I get that..Just ice"

  • Why's he in his underwear?

    Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

  • What happens when batman takes viagra?

    The dark knight rises

  • What does batman take in his beverages?

    just...ice.

  • What's black and blue and about to hurt someone?

    Batman thinking about his dead parents.

  • What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman?

    The krypton-knight.

  • What do you call Batman without a soul?

    Bn. (B "atma" n)

  • How do we know that Batman is black?

    He can't go anywhere without Robin'

  • What is Batman's least favorite TV channel?

    The Family Channel.

  • What does batman add to his tea?

    Just ice.

  • What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be?

    Batman. Why Because he can't go out at night without Robin!

  • What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

    Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

  • What does Sodium and Batman have in common?

    NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out....

  • What do you see?

    Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

  • What if it's daytime?

    Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*

  • What do you call Batman and Robin after they got run over by a steamroller?

    Flatman and Ribbon

  • What's the difference between batman and Blackman?

    Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

  • What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

    The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

  • What did Batman say to Robin before they hop on the Batmobile?

    To the Batmobile!"

  • What's Batman's favorite fruit?

    Bananananananananana

  • What's in common between Batman and a black guy?

    They can't go into a store without Robin

  • What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

    Get in the car"

  • What did Batman say at the deli?

    Got ham

  • Why don't they call the Batman film "The White Knight" instead of "The Dark Knight"?

    Because no one would care that he died.

  • Whats the difference between a black man and Batman?

    Batman can go to a store without robin.

  • What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

    Christian bail.

  • How do you spell no?

    Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

  • What's Batman's favorite food?

    Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

  • What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

    Got Ham?

  • How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

    They don't they're dead.

  • What does Batman put in his drink?

    Just ice

  • Why are batman and black man different?

    Bat man can go a whole night without robin

  • What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

    A Christian bail

  • What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

    The Dark Knight Rises.

  • Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks?

    The Just-Ice League.

  • What is Batman's Japanese emergency number?

    7777-Batman

  • What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together?

    Batman.

  • What is Batman's least favorite ice cream?

    Vanilla Bane!

  • What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back?

    A Chiroptopracter.

  • What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

    They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

  • What's Batman's favorite dessert?

    Just ice cream

  • What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year?

    He made them Batman.

  • Where did the Joker prank Batman?

    Got 'Em City.

  • Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team?

    Because when he grows up he will be Batman.

  • What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common?

    Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

  • What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

    The Dark Knightrogen

  • What sport can Batman best Superman in?

    Polo

  • Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

    Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

  • What do they say when batman catches a cold?

    He's ben affleckted.

  • What does batman like adding to his drinks?

    JUST-ICE

  • What does Batman get in his drink?

    Just Ice

  • How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

    She doesn't, she's dead

  • How does a chemist introduce Batman?

    Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

  • What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

    Conditioner Gordon.

  • What is Batman's favourite hair product?

    Conditioner Gordon.

  • What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

    Christian Bale Hah

  • What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

    Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

  • What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin ?

    Flatman and Ribbon !

  • What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

    NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

  • What is the Speed of Darkness?

    Batman!

  • Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

    Batman

  • Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

    A: Because Robin ate the worms.

  • What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

    Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

  • What's Batman's least favourite album?

    A Night at the Opera.

  • Where does Batman go to get a haircut?

    Batman-do