Battle Jokes

  • Why do they call them the minute men?

    Because they lasted a minute in battle

  • What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?

    Steer Wars.

  • Who leads the corn into battle?

    The kernal! Bahahahaha

  • Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors?

    So they can see the battle.

  • What's a bodybuilder's favorite fight of the American Civil War?

    The Battle of Gaine's Mill

  • What did General Custer's advisors tell him before the Battle of Little Bighorn?

    Don't do it, it's Siouxicide

  • How did the aquarium win the battle?

    Giant Fish Tanks.

  • What do you call a battle of wordplay?

    Pun-fu fighting

  • What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

    Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

  • What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?


  • Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles?

    xpost /r/meanjokes Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor.

  • Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle?

    No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor.

  • What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars?


  • How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

    Weasley twins are 50% off

  • What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle?

    You're about to meet da-feet!

  • What Does an Angry Sheep Say in Battle?


  • Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

    They had baron.

  • Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

    So they can watch the battle

  • Who won the Battle of the Bulge?

    The guy with the bulge in his sock ...

  • What do Caitlyn Jenner and WWII have in common?

    The Battle of the Bulge.

  • What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died?

    Napoleon Blownaparte

  • What is amnesia?

    Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings

  • What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

    In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

  • Why did the twitter army lose all their battles?

    Because they kept retweeting.

  • Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

    I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

  • Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

    They only had 2 trucks