Bernie Jokes

  • What do you call a man who's on fire?

    Bernie.

  • Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

    Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

  • How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

  • Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

    Vote for Bernie in a primary.

  • Which states is Bernie most popular in?

    Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

  • Who's there ! Bernie ! Bernie who ?

    Bernie bridges !

  • What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

    Bernie sanders

  • What does socialism smell like?

    It has a Bernie smell.

  • How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

    No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!

  • What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

    2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

  • Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

    They couldn't afford it.

  • Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

    It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

  • What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

    Weekend at Bernie's.

  • How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

  • Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

    He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

  • What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

    Bernie.

  • Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

    Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.