Bicycle Jokes

  • Why was the bicycle lying on the side of the road?

    It was two tired.

  • Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?

    he was two-tired...

  • What do you call a nun on a bicycle?

    virgin mobile

  • What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    Attire

  • What elephant and a canary and in common?

    They both can't ride bicycles.

  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

    It was 2 tired...

  • What do you call three lesbians on a bicycle?

    A trike

  • Why do you not run over a Mexican on a bicycle?

    It could be your bicycle!

  • What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

    Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

  • Why is the bicycle unable to stay up?

    Because it is two-tired!!!!

  • What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a hobo on a bicycle?

    Attire.

  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand anymore?

    It was two tired.

  • Why did Jill fall off the swing?

    Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

  • What does a duck and a bicycle have in common?

    They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck.

  • What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a dully dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tire.

  • Why did the bicycle fall down?

    because it was two-tired.

  • What's the difference between a hobo on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tyre (attire)

  • What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a handsomely dressed man on a unicycle?

    Attire

  • What do blacks and bicycles have in common?

    Take off the chain and both stop working. Going straight to hell :)

  • How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike?

    Because you never forget!

  • Why dont bicycles pedal backwards???

    Because than it would be REcycling

  • What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed clown on a tricycle?

    Attire

  • What is the similarity between a bicycle and a black man?

    The rightful owner of both is white

  • What's the fastest thing on earth?

    An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.

  • Why did the bicycle fall over?

    Because it was too tired. :)

  • Why does a Bicycle have a kickstand?

    Because it's two tired.

  • Why can't bicycles stand on their own?

    They are two tired

  • What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?

    Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.

  • How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

    The cigarette.

  • What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tire

  • What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tire

  • What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dessed man on a bicycle?

    Attire...!!

  • Why did the guy fall off his bicycle?

    Because I threw a microwave at him

  • What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ?

    Petal !

  • Why do bicycles always fall down if unsupported?

    Because they're two-tired.

  • What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?

    Bike carbonate of soda !

  • What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tire.

  • Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

    Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

  • What's the difference between a formally-dressed man riding a unicycle and a casually-dressed man riding a bicycle?

    Attire.

  • Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?

    Because it is two-tired (too tired).

  • How is a fish like a bicycle?

    Neither one knows how to whistle!

  • Why can't the bicycle stand on its own ?

    Because its two tyred

  • What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed woman on a tricycle?

    Attire

  • Why was the bicycle laying on the ground?

    Because it was two-tired

  • Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

    Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

  • What does a strawberry and a blueberry have in common?

    They both can't ride a bicycle!

  • What do Mormon's and tweekers have in common?

    Both ride bicycles and bust mission.

  • What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    a tire.

  • What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

    The road.

  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

    It was too tired...

  • What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

    Attire.

  • What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle?

    A Moosical

  • What did the poor ghetto dweller get for Christmas?

    Your bicycle.

  • What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?

    Attire

  • What did the native american say the first time he saw a bicycle?

    Wow, white folks are pretty smart. They run sitting down.

  • What do you call a bicycle made just for grandpas?

    A popsicle!

  • Why did the bicycle stop moving?

    Because it was two-tiered.

  • Whats the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

    Attire.

  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?

    Because it was two-tyred.

  • What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

    A-tyre

  • Why did the bicycle fall over??

    Because it was two tired...

  • Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle?

    A: Because he was a gold fish.

  • What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

    A tire!

  • What did the flower say to the bicycle?

    Petal.

  • What do you call two colored folk riding a bicycle?

    Organized crime!

  • What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a uni cycle?

    Attire

  • When is a bicycle not a bicycle?

    When it turns into a driveway.

  • Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?

    Because they're two tired

  • What's the difference between a bicycle and a black man?

    A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.

  • Why can't a bicycle stand alone?

    It's two tired.

  • What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?

    Attire.

  • What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

    x-post from r/bicycling Attire

  • What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

    Attire.

  • What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

    A tire.

  • What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

    Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

  • Why can't the bicycle stand on its own?

    Because it's two-tired

  • What did the bicycle call its dad?

    Pop-cycle

  • Why did the unicycle win the race?

    Because the bicycle was two tired.