Birthday Jokes

  • What's the worst thing to give a norteno on their birthday?

    A SURprise party!!

  • What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

    I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

  • What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

    Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

  • When is your birthday?

    17th January. What year Every year!

  • What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

    A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

  • How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday?

    He felt his presents.

  • What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday?

    Yellow Cake

  • What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

    Thanks for sediments

  • How do you know when you're turning 40?

    When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

  • What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

    For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

  • What did the Pirate say on his birthday?

    Ayy Matey

  • What did the old man get for his birthday?


  • How does Google celebrate its birthday?

    With a search party.

  • What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

    Get married on his birthday.

  • What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?

    I don't know but you'd better hope he likes it!

  • What did one candle say to the other?

    Don't birthdays burn you up "

  • What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday?

    I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents

  • What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

    Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

  • What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?

    Nobody knows yet.

  • What do you want for your birthday?

    Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

  • Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

    He likes to keep things low key.

  • Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

    He's trying to age disgracefully!

  • What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

    Aziz, I'm sorry.

  • What did Michael get for his birthday?

    Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

  • Why are birthdays good for you?

    Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.

  • Why couldn't Sally use the swings?

    She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for her Birthday? We don't know, she didn't open it yet.

  • What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?

    Forget about it.

  • How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

    With a low-key event

  • Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

    The specific ocean.

  • When's your birthday?

    Me: (Drunk) um ok thats easy... ten dash four PO: What year Me: Ugh duh every year

  • Why did the californian celebrate his birthday a day earlier?

    He moved down-under!!

  • How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday?

    He felt his presents.

  • What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?

    I don't know, she hasn't opened it

  • What do you want for your birthday this year?

    Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.

  • What is one thing you always get on your birthday?


  • What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday?


  • What did you get for your birthday?

    Another year!

  • What does a racist get for their birthday?


  • What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday?

    My bike :(

  • Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ?

    Alligator for her birthday was a card !

  • Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

    In a cat-alogue!

  • What do you call cute seeds?

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

  • What do you always get on your birthday?

    Another year older!birt

  • How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?

    var celebration = "Hip", "Hip";

  • What did the fire say the morning of his birthday?

    I'm stoked!

  • What does a clam do on his birthday?

    He shellabrates!

  • Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

    Because people kept toasting him!

  • What did the janitor get for his birthday?

    A urinal cake.

  • What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

    Crimea a river

  • What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

    A stole.

  • What is your favourite type of birthday present?

    Another present!

  • What did you like best about your last job?

    Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."

  • What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

    dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!

  • Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

    GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

  • What did the teenage crow want for his birthday?


  • What did the depressed pimp want for his birthday?

    to be alone with his thots

  • How old were you on your last birthday?

    Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today.

  • How do Etheopians celebrate their first birthday?

    By putting flowers on the grave

  • What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

    Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

  • Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ?

    Bacon a cake for your birthday !

  • What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

    I appreciate the sediment.