Bite Jokes
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What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?
His bark was much worse than it's bite !
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What do you call an electro-food?
it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!
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What do you get when a vampire bites a goblin?
A Hemogoblin
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What do you say when you step on a snake?
Well that bites.
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What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?
M'laria
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Why are hot dogs the best dogs?
Because they feed the hand that bites them.
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What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
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What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?
You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry
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Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?
It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!
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Why was Luis Surez expelled from the rap contest?
Because he was biting.
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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?
Finding half a worm in it. And what's worse than that The holocaust
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What do programmers and obese people have in common?
They both call an 8-course meal a bite.
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What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?
He went back 4 seconds.
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How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?
They'll both bite at anything!
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What is red and hurts when you bite it?
A Brick.
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What do you call it when you turn into a vampire before being bitten?
Premature Edraculation
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What did the girlfriend say to her boyfriend that was bitten by a zombie?
You're dead to me"
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How did the hipster burn his tounge?
He bit into his flat bread before it was cool!
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Why don't Middle Eastern dogs bite as often?
Because they Muslim.
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Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?
To improve his bite !
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Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
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What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?
An alligatorus
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What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse?
A: I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!
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Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can! Why can't humans?
Because they'll bite us!
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Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
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What do you do if you get bit by something poisonous?
Don't bite it back in retaliation.
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How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?
16, 32, 64, and 128
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What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm?
biting an apple and finding half a worm
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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ?
A tiger moth !
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When do vampires bite you?
On Wincedays.
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Why was Luis Suarez expelled from the rap contest?
Because he was biting.
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What is it?
It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow
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What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?
A bad Habit. I'll see myself out.
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What do you call a bitten apple?
An Iphone. What is bigger than an Iphone -A brick. What is smaller than an Ipad -An Ipad Mini.
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Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
His balk was worse than his bite!
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What did one white cop say to another white cop?
Another black man bites the dust.
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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
The Holocaust
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How do you find where a flea has bitten you ?
Start from scratch !
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What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?
Nothing. He just grit his teeth.
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What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ?
One rarely bites and the other barely writes !
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What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him?
Bit him naturally.
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Which people do the burgers hate?
The ones who are always putting the bite on them!
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What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
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How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?
A: Replace the nails with screws.
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What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !
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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armor.
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What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?
A computer with a lot of bites !
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What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?
What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth
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What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?
You owe Eve an O.
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What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?
Don't bite any witches !
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What happens when a T-Rex bites you?
A: You get a dino-sore.
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Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?
He wanted to improve his bite.
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Why was the iPad sad?
Someone took a bite out of its Apple.
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Why is a toothless dog like a tree?
It has more bark than bite.
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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!
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What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?
He cut all his fingers off !
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What's the thing u don't tell a vampire?
Bite me.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
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Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark?
Professional courtesy.
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Why do bees sting?
They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)