Black People Jokes
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How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
Hang one in the front!
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Why are autistic people like black people?
They all look the same.
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Why do black people wear flares?
because their knee grows
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Why don't black people go on cruise ships?
They aren't gonna fall for that one again.
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How do black people like their eggs?
Poached
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Why shouldn't you be racist?
Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
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Why do black people put their trash out in clear plastic bags?
So that the Puerto Ricans can window-shop.
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What are there no black people in the Flinstones?
They were still monkeys
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What's up with black people?
They're not black... And they're not people.
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What's the difference between snow tires and black people?
The snow tires still work when you take the chains off.
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Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?
Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.
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Why do black people like the NBA?
It's the only sport where you can shoot, steal and run!
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Why do black people have darker skin than other people?
Because, similar to leaves fallen from a tree, black people are dead inside.
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Why do Black People hate country music?
Because when they hear "Hoe Down" they think their sister got shot.
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How are black people like Christmas lights?
Half of them don't work and the ones that do aren't that bright
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Why did Beyonc sing "to the left, to the left"?
Because black people don't have rights.
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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?
Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy
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Where do black people stay when they visit Alaska?
A nigloo
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Why can't black people get PhD's?
Because they can't get past their Masters.
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Why do we have Martin Luther King Jr. Day off?
So the black people will not be the only ones skipping school.
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What's the most dangerous animal in Africa?
Black people. (Slightly Racist I know)
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Why do black people have big nostrils?
Because air is free
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Why can't black people swim?
Because there is no water in Africa.
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How are black people and apples similar?
They both look good hanging from trees
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Why are black people like sperm?
Only one in a million actually works.
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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Nobody knows, there's no light.
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What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common?
Both are outdated currency.
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Why do black people get hit by cars more during winter time?
Because they're easier to spot
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Why don't black people dream?
The last black man to have a dream got shot.
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What do you call an asian who hates black people?
A member of the Kru Krux Kran
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What do black people and apples have in common?
They both look better hanging.
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Why don't parrot's like black people?
Because Polly wants a cracker.
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Why do black people have white hands?
Because everyone has a little good in them
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Why are there so many black people in Detroit?
It's because they heard there was no jobs there.
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How do black people get to Hogwarts ?
They go through wall 9 3/5
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How many black people does it take to start a riot?
1
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Why don't cops get along with black people?
They should at least take a shot at it
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What do tall people and black people have in common?
They have no one to look up to.
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Why do black people play basketball?
Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal.
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Why aren't there any black people in the Air Force?
They're still afraid of hangars.
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What do black people and bikes have in common?
Both get thrown out when they have no use
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What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?
The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)
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Why does it smell of tires?
There are two black people fighting.
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Why are there no black people at the North Pole?
Because there is nothing to steal there
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Why do black people like the rain?
For drizzle.
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Why does more black people get run over during the day?
You can't see them when it is night.
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What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects?
Is it about black people
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Why do Black people like Kia so much?
Because it has Soul.
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Why do black people take such good care of a Chinese baby?
Because black people make "Wong" decisions!
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Why don't black people get sunburns?
Prisons are indoors.
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How do black people die from a drive by?
Everytime someone screams "get down! " they stand up and start dancing!
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Why are so many racist jokes about black people?
Because black people can't read. Duh. I'll show myself out.
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Why do black people put their garbage in clear trash bags?
So the Mexicans can window shop.
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Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people?
Dad.
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What is most commonly found in cells?
Apparently "black people" was not the right answer
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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Idk, its too dark to tell them apart.
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What do black people and Batman have in common?
Neither one of them get r/dadjokes
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Where do most black people work?
In jail
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How fast are black people allowed to go on the highway?
25 to Life.
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What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.
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Why does Beyonce say "To the left, to the left"?
Because black people have no rights.
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Why are black people so fast?
Since they run away from lions , but he nearest village is 10km away.....
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What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?
It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.
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Why are there no black people in the game Clue?
Because then, it would be called Solved.
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How do black people say their vowels?
Aye E, I owe you...
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How are black people similar to tornadoes?
They both only take one to ruin a neighborhood.
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How do you keep black people out of your business?
Put up a "Now Hiring" sign.
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Why do black people like fried chicken?
Because its delicious.
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What do black people get on their math test?
Warning offensive!) Chicken grease.
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Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?
Black people can't swim.
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Why are people afraid to talk to black people?
Their scared they'll say something nigative
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What did the Black owner of the BMW do to deserve jail?
You mean, black people have to DO something to deserve jail p.s I know I am going dowwwnn for this
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Why do black people wear chains?
Nostalgia
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What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?
A school bus full of black people driving off a cliff
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Why do black people have white on their palms?
There's a little bit of good in everybody.
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Why black people can't be seen in black and white movies?
Becuase they're working in the mine.
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How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?
One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.
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Why are black people unfair?
Because they're unfair.
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What is commonly found in cells?
Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
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Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?
Because they were still considered monkeys.
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What are the most racist jokes you know?
There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died. What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool? Coco puffs.
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Why Beyonce?
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights...
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Why does Beyonce sing "To the left, to the left?
Because black people have no rights
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What do you call a police officer that shoots black people?
A police officer in America.
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Why don't Black people hijack airplanes?
They'll have no one to sell it to.
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What seperates black people and white people?
The prison bars.
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Why do black people where baggy pants?
Cause they're knee grows!
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What do you call a food that turns black people on?
An -disiac.
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Whats the similarities between black people and bikes?
Both cant work without chains.
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Why did all the black people die in the war?
Because when they captain said, "GET DOWN!" They all started dancing..
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What's the difference between a midget and black people?
A midget is a small problem. Black people are a huge problem.
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Why do black people spend so much on their shoes?
You would to if you had such a long walk home.
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What's the same about nail care and black people?
They're both manicures
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Why did black people pick so much cotton?
Because we told them to.
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How many black people does it to pave a driveway?
One. You just have to spread him real thin.
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What is the type of humor do you hate the most?
Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.
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Why are white people racist against black people?
Cause they have smaller PPs lol
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How many black people do you need to start a riot?
Negative 1.
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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3/5
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What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water?
What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution.
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Why are black people afraid of motorcycles?
They'd get caught in the chain.
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Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?
To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.
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What do you call a shed full of black people?
Antique farm equipment
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How do black people tan?
Holding their hands up
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Why are black people so good at sports?
Hard work and dedication.
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What do black people and dividing by zero have in common?
They don't work.
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Why are black people unable to get a Ph.D.?
Because they can't get past their Masters.
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What do you call a line of black people?
A chocolate bar
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Why do black people have white hands and feet?
Because everyone has a little bit of good in them.
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Why are all black people scared of sleeping?
Cause one had a dream, and he died.
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What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?
The NBA.
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What do you call racist jokes that are made about black people?
Dark humor
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Why do black people smell bad?
So blind people can hate them too
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Why Do Black People Run Fast?
Because they have to run 3 kilometers and back everyday to get water.
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What do black people with Down's Syndrome call their friends?
Their Chromies
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What do you call a raft full of black people?
Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies.
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Why do black people always die first in scary movies?
Because they never run from nothin but the police
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What do you call the one white person on a bus full of black people?
Coach
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What's the difference between drunk people and black people?
Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.
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Why do pills bottles have cotton in them?
So they can remind black people the picked cotton before they sold drugs.
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What do you call a group of black people?
Antique farm equipment.
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What do black people and Apple Inc. have in common?
They have no jobs
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Why is there cotton in pill bottles?
To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.
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Why do black people always finish first in a running race?
There's a KFC at the end of the finish line.
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What do you call a barn full of black people?
A police shooting range.
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What tool does a black lumberjack use?
An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do
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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One because his knee grows.
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Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?
White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.
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Why don't black people lay in the sun?
because it's 92.96 million miles away.
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What's the difference between black people amd snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.
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Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?
Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.
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Why do black people like Korean food?
Because it has a little Seoul in it.
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What is a Cell?
something you keep black people in
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Why do black people despise environmental studies?
A:Cause they always get hung up on trees.
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What do tornados and black people have in common?
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood
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Why are there no black people in clue?
Because then it wouldn't be a mystery.
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Why did all the Black people move to Detroit?
Because they heard there were no jobs there.
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Why do all black people go to heaven?
The Son is attracted to black
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Why do black people have white palms?
There is little bit of good in all of us. p.s. not racist, my shadow is black.
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What's the difference between cancer and black people?
Cancer got Jobs.
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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb?
You will find out when the light comes on.
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Why black people are so good with basketball?
They can shoot and steal without being arrested.
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Why do black people like basketball?
Because it invovles running, shooting, and stealing.
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Why are black people so good at jumping?
As developing children their knee grows.
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What do you call black people in the military?
Geurrilla warfare
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How do you know Axe was invented by black people?
If it was white people who invented it, it would be called Ask.
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What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?
They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!
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How do black people get tans at the beach?
They lay down on their backs and put their legs and arms toward the sky.
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Why do you never see black people on cruise ships?
Because they won't fall for the same trick twice
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Why do black people have nightmares?
Because one had a dream and died
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Why don't black people ever go on cruises?
We're not falling for that one again!
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What's black and smells like people?
Black People
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Why do gingers hang out with black people?
Because gingers have no soul, and black people have too much!
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How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?
One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn.....
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What did the community do when there was an injustice involving law enforcement?
Black people took to the streets. White people took it to Reddit and complained about how nobody is doing anything about it.
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Why Don't Black People like Country Music?
Because everytime theres a Hoedown, they think one of their sisters got shot.
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Why are black people so good at basketball?
Cause all they know to do is steal, run, and shoot
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Why are black people getting stronger?
Because the televisions these days are getting heavier.
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Why don't black people get presents for Christmas?
Because prisons don't have chimneys.
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What do black people drive?
house prices down
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Why don't black people pay rent?
Because jail is free.
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Why are black people afraid of high fives?
They don't want to be left hanging
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Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days?
Everyone knows black people can't work a full week.
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What's the deal with black people?
They're not black, and they're not people!
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Why don't black people sleep?
Because the only one that had a dream was shot.
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What do black people drink during the Holiday Season?
Nignog
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Why are black people tall?
Because they knee grows..
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Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?
Because black people have no rights...
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What is the difference between an elevator and black people?
And elevator can raise kids
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Why do few black people have a PhD?
They have trouble getting past their masters.
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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but when he unscrews the bulb, the lights go out and your xbox is gone.
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Why do black people call each other "son"?
Well, you never know!
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Why are black people always wrong?
They have no rights.
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What do you call a house full of black people?
A jail.
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What do you call a bunch of black people in a pile of leaves?
Raisin Bran
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Why are there many black people hanging around my family tree?
because im a black man you racist
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What does Ebola and US police have in common?
A high body count of black people
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Why are all black people fast?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
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Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Black people can't swim. -.-
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What's something white people can call other white people but black people can't call other black people?
Dad.
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Why do black people always say "I know right"?
Because they have no right.
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Why do black people wear lots of chains?
It's a habit that stuck from when they were slaves.
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How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?
One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.
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How do black people grow?
Their knee grows!
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What do black people and a tornado have in common?
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.
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Why do black people talk funny?
They don't, it's a miff.
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Why do white people think they can say the N word?
Because it is the only thing left that still belongs to black people.
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What disease do police give black people?
Glock coma
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Why are black people so good at running?
Because when they here the gun go off they start runnin.
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What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court?
The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.
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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?
You can't tell it's in the dark
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Why will Church's chicken be losing money?
Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon
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What do Mexican and Black people have in common?
Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.
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What's the difference between black people and cancer?
Cancer got Jobs
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How do you make black people break out into song?
Put em' to work!... On a gospel record.