Blame Jokes

  • What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

    a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

  • What is your location?

    Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

  • What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

    When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

  • Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

    Blame it on the night

  • Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

    Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

  • Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

    Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

  • What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

    I have only my shelf to blame"

  • What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

    The Pastryarchy.

  • How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

  • Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

    Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

  • Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

    Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

  • Who's to blame?

    The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

  • How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

  • What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

    I blame my shelf

  • What did one earthquake say to the other?

    I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

  • Why do you think people hate us so much?

    Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

  • What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

    I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

  • Why is the dog man's best friend?

    He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

  • How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews