Bleed Jokes

  • What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

    Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

  • Why do women make better soldiers?

    Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

  • How do you know when a liberal is really dead?

    A: His heart stops bleeding.

  • What has 2 legs and bleeds?

    Half a dog.

  • What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

    Half a dog

  • Why can't you trust girls?

    because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die.

  • What's got two legs and bleeds?

    half a dog Derek, s01e05

  • How many times did you get tackled?

    m:bleeding Twice

  • What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

    What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat

  • What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

    A rebel without a gauze

  • What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

    Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

  • What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

    Half a cheetah.

  • What is puberty?

    B- Do you bleed BD - ... B - You Will

  • What can guys call it?

    How about bleeding white

  • What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

    Nothing, he already said it twice.

  • What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

    Half a cat.

  • How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

    Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

  • Why is the zoo calling us about a missing coyote?

    ME: bleeding profusely So... not a dog

  • What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

    Brush their teeth!

  • What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

    Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

  • What has got two legs and bleeds?

    Half a dog!

  • What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?

    The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding.

  • What has two legs and bleeds?

    Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

  • Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles?

    A : It had a bleed on its tail fin.

  • What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

    Half a cat

  • What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

    They both bled for me.

  • What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

    half-a-dog!

  • Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

    FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!