Blond Jokes

  • Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

    She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

  • How does a blond cross the road?

    A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

  • Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

    To keep here legs closed.

  • How do you call a blond who changed her hair color to brown?

    Artificial Intelligence!

  • Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

    Because it said concentrate.

  • Why did the blond get fired from the boomerang factory?

    She threw away all the bent ones. Why did she get re-hired They all came back.

  • How does a blond like her eggs in the morning?

    fertilized"

  • Who's there A blond Blond who I'm just blond, does this seem like a joke?

    No, you're the joke :3

  • How do you get a blond out of a tree?

    A: Wave

  • How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?

    Because a tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

  • What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?

    A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.

  • What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

    Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

  • Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

    Because she kept throwing out all the W's

  • What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair?

    Artificial Intelligence.

  • How do you conufuse a blond?

    Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

  • How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder."

  • How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown?

    Artificial intelligence!

  • What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

    A glimmer of hope

  • Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

    To see how long she slept.

  • Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

    Because she kept throwing out all the W's

  • What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

    A: They're both empty from the neck up.

  • Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

    Because she threw out all the bent ones.

  • Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?

    A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!

  • How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder."

  • Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?

    A: Cos they've no idea of the route.

  • Why didn't the blond call 911?

    She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

  • What does a Blond do every Sunday?

    Swallow Jesus.

  • Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

    Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

  • How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

    She paints a target icon around the outlet.

  • What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

    When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

  • Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

    She wanted to get a dark tan.

  • What do you call a blond that dyed her hair brown?

    Artificial Intelligence

  • What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

    RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!