Blonde Jokes
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What do you call five blondes in a pool?
Air bubbles.
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Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first!
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What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
An air mattress.
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Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
Who cares
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What do you call two blondes in a canoe?
A: Fur traders.
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Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
It makes them feel popular.
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.
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How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
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What do you get when turn three blondes upside down?
Two brunettes and a red-head.
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Why do blondes have more fun?
They're easier to find in the dark.
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Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
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Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus.
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How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright?
Shine a torch in her ear!
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What is the difference between chicken and blondes ?
The chicken knows on whose eggs sitting .
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Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
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Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
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What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A hundred dollar bill.
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How does a blonde call for her dog?
She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".
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How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?
10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms
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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
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How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?
A: Knock on the door.
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Why can't blondes count to 70?
Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
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How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb??
Just 1...blondes will screw anything.
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Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night?
A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car.
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Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?
The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!
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Why do blonde's get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.
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Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
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Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple easy and they taste good.
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What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
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Why do blondes drive VWs?
A: Because they can spell it.
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How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
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Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what
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What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner?
A: You don't you see if you've got 3 condoms.
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Why are blondes such bad cow herders?
Because they can't keep their calves together
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Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
To see if blondes have more fun.
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What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper?
Ask Hugh Hefner.
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What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?
A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
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Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?
A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know " whenever you ask them a question.
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What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear?
A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe
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Why don't blonde's like audio-books?
A: There aren't any pictures.
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What's the definition of eternity?
Four blondes waiting at a four way stop.
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What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
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Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
Because she was drinking on the job.
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How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
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Why did the blonde call an exterminator?
Her computer had a bug...
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out all the w's.
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What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair?
The blonde sure doesn't know.
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Why don't blondes wear mini skirts in San Francisco?
Their balls will show.
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Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
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Why can't blondes finish software updates?
They can never find the "any" key.
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What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
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What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
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Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
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Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
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Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
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What Do You Call A Brunette Standing Between Two Blondes?
A)..... The Interpreter.
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Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?
Because it's waaay easier to swallow
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Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
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What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Need to know ASAP.
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What do blonde's have against condoms?
A: Their cheeks.
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What a BLONDE will ask the doctor in the maternity ward?
A: "Is it mine "
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What do blondes and computer have in common?
You never appreciate them until they go down on you. edit: computers
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What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?
She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet.
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What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
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Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you wash all your vegetables!
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Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
Q. They think their picture is being taken.
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How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
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Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
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What do blondes and turtles have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
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How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb??
Just 1...blondes will screw anything.
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Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
A: They want to measure their intelligence.
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She threw away all of the W's.
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Why can't blondes make Kool Aid?
Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.
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Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?
A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.
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What do you call a Redhead who dyes her hair Blonde?
TransGinger
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What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow seamen.
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Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
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What did the blondes left leg say to her right?
Nothing... They've never met
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Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room
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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
They pull up their pants.
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How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?
Just 1...blondes will screw anything.
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What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
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What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A wind tunnel.
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Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company
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What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
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How do blondes carpool?
They meet up a work
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Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
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What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
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Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
A: Because she didn't know which one came first!
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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries
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Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.
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Why did the blonde move to California?
To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6
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Why don't blondes like M&Ms?
They're so damned hard to peel.
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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries
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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Need to know ASAP.
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Why are blondes so good with odd numbers?
Because they, like, can't even!
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Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
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Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.
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How do blondes like their eggs?
Unfertilized
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Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?
A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.
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What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?
A. Artificial intelligence.
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How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.
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What do you call a Blonde in the dirt?
Her name was Cindy she had a husband and 2 children
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Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.