Boat Jokes

  • What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat with a terrible leak?

    Cuatro sinko

  • What do you call the first migrant off the boat?

    Amhere What do you call the second migrant off the boat Amhere Azwel What do you call the third migrant off the boat Amhere Azwell Azhim

  • Why was the boat disobedient?

    Nobody gave it a stern talking to.

  • What is the Cuban national anthem?

    Row Your Boat!

  • What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

    Full speed ahead

  • What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

    A row bot.

  • Where does a psychologist keep his boat?

    on a Freudian Slip

  • What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?


  • Why do they call boats "she"?

    Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

  • How do you get pikachu on to a boat?

    You pokemon

  • What do you call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer?

    A pinat

  • How do you turn an airliner into a boat?

    Allahu Ackbar!**

  • When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat?

    When there's a sail on it.

  • What's the Cuban national anthem?

    Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."

  • What did the upset horse use to row his boat?

    A saddle.

  • Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

    Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!

  • What should you use to make a boat explode?

    A weapon of mast destruction.

  • What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat?

    Men, get on the boat."

  • How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

    Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

  • Why don't you transport onions by boat?

    You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

  • Why can't ovaries sail a boat?

    Because they are not sea-men.

  • What's a good movie?

    Me: "Snakes on a plane" Friend: "Whats it about " Me: "Horses... horses on a boat"

  • What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

    Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

  • What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?


  • What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

    The Internship

  • How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat?

    Ba dum ship.

  • Who drowns?

    The boat.

  • How do they get to smoke their cigarettes?

    They throw one cigarette overboard, which make the boat a cigarette lighter.

  • What fish is best to have in a boat?

    A Sailfish.

  • Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

    Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

  • What do you call a boat with a hole?

    A sink.

  • What do you call a boat full of Karma?

    An Upboat.

  • What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?

    Amhere. What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel. What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim. :)

  • What do boats and fourier transforms have in common?

    Both sinc when rect.

  • How do they launch a champagne factory?

    They throw a boat at it.

  • What is the difference between a boat and a woman?

    The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut.

  • What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?

    Shipped beef!

  • What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

    Grandpa. :(

  • Who's there ! Cicero ! Cicero who ?

    Cicero the boat ashore !

  • How did they manage to smoke?

    They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter

  • What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

    your boat, gently down the stream...

  • What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat?

    A leek.

  • What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

    It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

  • Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

    Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

  • How did they light their cigarettes?

    One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.

  • How does a one armed man row a boat?

    In a circle.

  • Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

    Because someone stole his boat.

  • What do you call a boat made out of corn?

    A: A tortilla ship!

  • Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

    She wanted to wash up on shore

  • Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat?

    Because he got a little c-stick.

  • What kind of boats do smart people ride on?

    Scholar ships!

  • What do you call a boat that won't float?


  • What does a boat have in common with a ballsack?

    They both have a lot of seamen

  • Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?

    Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.

  • What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

    Men, get in the boat!"

  • What did the water say to the boat?

    Nothing. It just waved.

  • Why is the rear end of a boat so tough?

    It's made of stern stuff.

  • What is the cheapest part of a boat?

    The part with the sail in it.

  • What do you say when a woman falls off a boat?

    Full speed ahead!"

  • Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

    Because he was stuck in denial.

  • How do you build a boat?

    Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

  • What do you call it when three french cats get into a boat only meant for two?

    Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

  • When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?

    He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !

  • What does a pirate do for entertainment?

    Whatever floats his boat.

  • Where do boats go when they're sick?

    The Doc

  • Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

    Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

  • What do you call a mollusk on a boat?

    A snailor

  • What's a Cuban's favorite song?

    Row row row your boat Over to Key West Scarily scarily scarily scarily Avoid the INS

  • Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

    It's ram a dam

  • What do you call a polish guy on a boat?

    A fishing pole

  • What's a blind man doing on a boat?

    Waiting for a bus.

  • What is the Puerto Rican national anthem?

    Row row row your boat

  • Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats?

    Pier Pressure

  • What did one boat say to the other?

    Are you up for a little row-mance

  • Why are yachts and ships so scary?

    Because they're for boating.

  • What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

    A woe boat.

  • What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat?

    The NBA draft

  • Why do scuba divers always jump backwards off the boat?

    If they jumped forwards, they would still be on the boat! Sorry.

  • How do boats apologise?

    S ry!

  • Why shouldn't you take the Fourier transform of a square pulse while on a boat?

    Because you don't wanna sinc!

  • Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

    He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

  • What's the difference between American and Canadian?

    A boat.

  • Why did the boat know it had a leak?

    That sinking feeling...