Boil Jokes

  • What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

    Log jam.

  • Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

    Because they're not real.

  • What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

    You can't mash Frankenstein.

  • What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

    It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

  • What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

    A leperd

  • Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

    Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

  • What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

    A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

  • What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

    Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

  • Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

    When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

  • What do you get if you boil funnybones?

    A laughing stock.

  • How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

    Their wheelchair floats to the top.

  • What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

    Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

  • How do you make holy water?

    Boil the hell out of it.

  • What was said the boiled waters funeral?

    You will be mist.

  • What on Earth happened?

    The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

  • What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

    Hot Cross Bunnies!

  • Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

    Because he mist it.

  • What is hail?

    A: Hard-boiled rain.

  • What is hail ?

    Hard boiled rain !

  • How do you make holy water?

    You boil the hell out of it

  • What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?


  • If you boil a clown...

    Do you get a laughing stock?

  • What are you having?

    First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

  • Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

    Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

  • What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

    Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?