Boy Jokes

  • How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

    The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

  • Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

    Answer : "Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

  • What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

    I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

  • What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

    GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

  • When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

    At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

  • Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

    A: To see how long he slept.

  • What's that boy?

    An armed robbery on 5th "Timmy's stuck in a well "

  • What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

    I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

  • Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?

    He wanted to have a birthday potty!

  • Why did the boy not do his homework?

    he was ceebs

  • What did Michael Jackson have in common with Target?

    Boys clothes half off.

  • Why did the boy jump off the dock?

    Pier pressure

  • Who brings all the good little inclined plane girls and boys presents at Christmas?

    Slanta Claus.

  • What did the boy buy at the grocery store?

    Too Bad, I'm not telling you!

  • How did the Greek army separate the men from the boys?

    With a crowbar

  • Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

    Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

  • How does a woman go about inventing something?

    She gives birth to a boy.

  • What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

    Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

  • Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

    He got hit by a bus!

  • How do the Greeks seperate the men from the boys?

    A crowbar.

  • Why did the boy fall off the bike?

    Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold

  • What is the most popular band in Japan?

    Fall Out Boy

  • What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

    Cracker.

  • What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch?

    Names! -Bo Burnham

  • What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

    Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

  • Why girls live longer than boys?

    SHOPPING" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,"PAYING the "BILLS" does

  • Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

    There was no outlet

  • Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?

    A: He wanted to see time fly.

  • Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

    He was galactose intolerant.

  • How do you separate the men from the boys in Sparta?

    With a crowbar.

  • What do you call a boy with no arms and legs in the middle of the ocean?

    Bobby

  • What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

    Tysssonssss

  • What animal brings the most boys to the yard?

    The

  • What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

    Urine trouble.

  • What is Facebook?

    Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's .

  • Why did the boy like doing trigonometry?

    Just cos.

  • What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

    Cancer

  • How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

    With a crowbar.

  • How do you separate the men from the boys in the Navy?

    With a crowbar.

  • Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

    Because people kept toasting him!

  • What did the boy with no hands get for a Christmas present?

    Gloves.... Just kidding he hasn't got into it yet.

  • Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

    He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

  • How do the greek separate the men from the boys?

    With a crow bar.

  • What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?

    A: Lonely

  • How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date?

    Premature emasculation.

  • Why did the boy stare at his orange juice for so long?

    Because it said, Concentrate.

  • Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

    A: He wanted to sing higher!

  • When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

    When the choir boys have diarrhea.

  • What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

    Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

  • Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

    He thought he might get a kick out of it!

  • What is it son?

    Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

  • How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

    Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

  • What is your favorite one to two line joke?

    Keep em coming boys and gals. This is making my 15 car ride way better!

  • Why are teenage girls so much better at English than boys?

    Girls, like, have a much better, like, grasp of, like, similes.

  • How do Muslims seperate the men from the boys?

    With a crowbar.

  • Why did the boy drip his ice cream?

    He got hit by a bus.

  • Why did the boy die when a car ran over his finger?

    His finger was up his nose.

  • What did the boy say when his dog died?

    What did the boy say when his dog died? I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

  • Which one is the boy you've been seeing?

    New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died

  • What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

    They both lie about their emissions.

  • What kind of boy is he?

    A noughty one.

  • What did the beach boys play at their reunion show?

    Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger.

  • What did the cow is standing all alone in a field say?

    Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)

  • Why does the boy could not bend his knees?

    because he had no knees

  • How many girls a boy need to shoot a school?

    None.

  • How do you get a touchdown at Penn State?

    Introduce a boy with Down's Syndrom to Jerry Sandusky.

  • What does train tracks and breast have in common?

    They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them

  • What's he like?

    asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women."

  • What's the first rule here, boys?

    Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

  • Why am I black and you're white?

    A boy asks his mom, Why am I black and you're white? She says, Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark

  • Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

    He wanted to see how long he slept.

  • What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

    I'm stuck.

  • How do they separate the men from the boys in Athens?

    With a crowbar.

  • What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

    Cancer

  • What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch????

    Names

  • Who let the boys out?

    Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out ! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

  • How can you tell if a loaf of bread is a boy or girl?

    Feel around for the dough nuts

  • What's the matter son?

    The boy next door said I look just like you What did you say Nothing he's bigger than me !

  • Why did the boy drop his icecream?

    He was hit by a truck.

  • What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

    Bye, son.

  • Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

    A: He was hit by a bus

  • Why do think that?

    The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."

  • What's the difference between a boy and a girl?

    His dad answers, "Well, there's a vas deferens!"

  • When a boy falls, what does he fall against?

    His will

  • What's the best place to hide a boy?

    Page two of Google

  • Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

    He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

  • Why did the boy stop using his Sony, his Boombox, and his Bose Radio?

    He stopped believing in stereotypes.

  • What separates the men from the boys in the Navy?

    A crowbar.

  • Why can't priests have children?

    Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

  • What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?

    Cancer. ( )

  • Why did the boy fall off his bike?

    A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

  • What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

    I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

  • What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

    I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

  • Where are the raisins today?

    A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

  • Why did the bishop love Walmart?

    Coz the boys pants are all half off.

  • Why isn't there a Jared's for boys?

    Oh wait, there is.

  • Why do boys walk fast and girls speak more?

    Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.

  • How did the greeks separate the men from the boys?

    With a crowbar.

  • What boy doesn't love milkshakes?

    If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.

  • What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?

    Cancer. ( )

  • How did the ancient Greeks seperate the men from the boys?

    With a crowbar.

  • Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

    Because the testicles

  • Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

    He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

  • What do boys and algebra have in common?

    They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

  • What is the smartest fruit?

    It's the orange, BOY CAN IT CONCENTRATE!

  • Why did the boy want to see a thunder storm in Greece?

    Because Greece lightening

  • How do you seperate the men from the boys?

    A crowbar.

  • What did the boy tell the priest in the confessional?

    Nothing. It's rude to talk with your mouth full.

  • Who is that Idiot..?

    If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

  • What did the boy pee say to the girl pee?

    Urine angel.

  • How near was the boy to his dad's tobacco stash before getting busted?

    Close... but no cigar.

  • Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?

    Because he just came to pick up his little sister.

  • Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ?

    It was for 'tick or tweet' !

  • What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

    No home oh

  • What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?

    Fall out boy

  • Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men?

    He thought they were a delivery service

  • What did the boys do ToGetHer?

    Roam And Tick things..

  • Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

    He wanted to go to high school.

  • Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?

    Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

  • Why gypsies boys let their mustache to grow?

    To look more like their mom.

  • What did the Russian man say to the boy after he did nice for someone?

    That was *Cher-i-nobyl* of you

  • How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

    This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

  • What separates the men from the boys?

    Operation Yewtree.

  • Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

    He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

  • What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

    BYE-SON!

  • What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

    Nothing, Michael liked boys.

  • Who r they 2 stop u?

    Boy: My wife & 2 kids.

  • What separates the men from the boys in the Catholic Church?

    A condom.

  • What did the doctor say to the parents of an ugly baby?

    I charge five dollars if its a boy and five dollars if its a girl. Lets just say this ones on the house.

  • What do Wal mart and priests have in common?

    They both have boys pants half off. I'm going to hell lol

  • How does the Navy separate the men from the boys?

    With a crowbar

  • Why can't Boy Scouts be MLG?

    Because they're campers.