Bread Jokes

  • What do you call jokes about bread?


  • Why do cows from the south make the best sandwiches?

    Because they are in bread.

  • What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread?

    It's stalemate

  • Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

  • What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?

    A: Endless Bread!

  • What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?

    Bread in captivity.

  • What does a pickle use to make bread?

    Dill Dough.

  • What do you call bread from heaven?

    100% holy grain

  • What's the craziest type of bread?

    Banana Nut Bread!

  • Why did the airplane fall out of the sky?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

  • What do you call bread baked in the south?


  • What's the difference between gluten and hillbillies?

    One's inbred, the others in bread

  • What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread?

    Its going to be all rye.

  • Why did the baker bake more bread?

    A: He kneaded the dough.

  • What does Justin Bieber and jam have in common?

    They're both in bread

  • Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ?

    Buddha this slice of bread for me !

  • What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?

    Sow-r dough bread.

  • What did the bread do after it had been oppressed for many years?


  • What do you call an extremely flamboyant loaf of bread?

    A faggette

  • Why are bakeries always so depressing?

    They're bread inside.

  • What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

    It's stale, mate."

  • Why did the airplane crash into the building?


  • What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

    I just need some bread

  • What kind of bread do Rednecks like?


  • Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

  • What does bread do when it wants to get married...?

    It e-loaf-es! :)

  • What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth?

    I am bread.

  • What do you call food between two slices of bread?

    a sandwich

  • What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread?

    A bakery.

  • What do giants and strippers have in common?

    They both grind on bones to make their bread.

  • What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

    If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

  • Why did the plane crash into the ocean?

    The pilot was a loaf of bread

  • What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread?

    The bread has more culture.

  • Why do rednecks make the best sandwiches?

    Because they are in bread.

  • What looks just like half a loaf of bread?

    Its other half.

  • Why did the pilot crash the plane?

    Because he was a slice of bread

  • How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread?

    He felt pain.

  • How does Tolkien make his bread?

    With Frodough.

  • What's the difference between a loaf of bread and a penguin?

    I don't know what " "We're sure not sending you to the store!"

  • What's Ja Rule's favorite type of bread?


  • Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made out of pasta?

    Made out of bread was taken.

  • Why does bread not have eyebrows?

    Because it's bread.

  • Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

    It's more fun to break wind

  • Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

    Because he was in-bread.

  • What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread?

    A clubbed sandwich

  • When is a bread not kneaded?

    When it's unnecessary

  • Why did the grain call his sister "momma"?

    Because he was in bread!

  • Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch?

    It's made from scratch

  • What did the oven tell the slice of bread?

    You're !

  • How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

    You tape bread to the ceiling.

  • What is it called when there is bread all over the place?

    An abundance

  • What's baked everyday and sells itself?


  • Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

    Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

  • What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

    A high rise

  • How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

    The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

  • What is the most racist type of bread?

    A biguette

  • What kind of bread always goes wrong?

    A rye

  • What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?

    They are both in bread.

  • What do you call a puppy combined with bread?

    Well, It's not a purebread anymore.

  • What do you put in a toaster?

    I usually put bread in a toaster.

  • What does a redneck and yeast have in common?

    They are both "in-bread" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.

  • How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

    Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

  • What did the SI7 Agent say to a piece of bread in a costume?

    Heh, disguised toast.

  • What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

    I don't dough!

  • What do you get when you cross a loaf of bread with a buffalo?

    A: A buffaloaf.

  • How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

    Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

  • What's the fastest form of bread?


  • What kind of shoes does bread wear?


  • What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

    Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

  • What do get when you mix two breads?

    A hy-bread

  • What do you call breads ability to smell?

    Naan sense!

  • What did the toaster say to the bread?

    I want you inside me.

  • What's a redneck's favorite type of bread?


  • What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery?

    Bread and Bakedfast!

  • What's so lame about a duck President?

    Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!

  • What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?


  • How do they package bread at the bakery?

    They baguette.

  • What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?


  • Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread?

    It was a crusty steed!

  • What's a redneck's favorite kind of bread?


  • What do you call a pompous piece of bread?

    A braguette.

  • Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers?

    Because they are in bread.

  • What do you call bread so burnt it can never be ate?


  • What did one loaf of bread say to the other?


  • Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?

    Because his bread was stollen!!!

  • Why did the airplane crash?

    The pilot was a loaf of bread.

  • How can you tell if a loaf of bread is a boy or girl?

    Feel around for the dough nuts

  • How do you make a rave party in Africa?

    You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling.

  • Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta?

    Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.

  • What do you call a bread that catches a cold?

    Flu-catcher bread

  • Why did the plane crash?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

  • How do you start a rave in Uganda?

    Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

  • Why is flour retarded?

    Because it's in-bread.

  • What do you call a slice of bread from another country?

    An immigraint.

  • Why do sandwiches never have kids?

    Because they always turn out in-bread.

  • Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?

    The middle yeast