Bread Jokes
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What do you call jokes about bread?
buns
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Why do cows from the south make the best sandwiches?
Because they are in bread.
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What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread?
It's stalemate
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Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!
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What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?
A: Endless Bread!
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What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?
Bread in captivity.
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What does a pickle use to make bread?
Dill Dough.
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What do you call bread from heaven?
100% holy grain
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What's the craziest type of bread?
Banana Nut Bread!
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Why did the airplane fall out of the sky?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread
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What do you call bread baked in the south?
inbred
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What's the difference between gluten and hillbillies?
One's inbred, the others in bread
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What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread?
Its going to be all rye.
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Why did the baker bake more bread?
A: He kneaded the dough.
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What does Justin Bieber and jam have in common?
They're both in bread
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Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ?
Buddha this slice of bread for me !
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What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?
Sow-r dough bread.
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What did the bread do after it had been oppressed for many years?
Rye-ot
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What do you call an extremely flamboyant loaf of bread?
A faggette
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Why are bakeries always so depressing?
They're bread inside.
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What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?
It's stale, mate."
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Why did the airplane crash into the building?
BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!
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What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?
I just need some bread
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What kind of bread do Rednecks like?
Inbred
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Why did the plane crash into the mountain?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
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What does bread do when it wants to get married...?
It e-loaf-es! :)
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What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth?
I am bread.
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What do you call food between two slices of bread?
a sandwich
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What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread?
A bakery.
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What do giants and strippers have in common?
They both grind on bones to make their bread.
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What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!
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Why did the plane crash into the ocean?
The pilot was a loaf of bread
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What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread?
The bread has more culture.
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Why do rednecks make the best sandwiches?
Because they are in bread.
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What looks just like half a loaf of bread?
Its other half.
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Why did the pilot crash the plane?
Because he was a slice of bread
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How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread?
He felt pain.
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How does Tolkien make his bread?
With Frodough.
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What's the difference between a loaf of bread and a penguin?
I don't know what " "We're sure not sending you to the store!"
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What's Ja Rule's favorite type of bread?
Challah!
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Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made out of pasta?
Made out of bread was taken.
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Why does bread not have eyebrows?
Because it's bread.
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Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?
It's more fun to break wind
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Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?
Because he was in-bread.
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What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread?
A clubbed sandwich
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When is a bread not kneaded?
When it's unnecessary
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Why did the grain call his sister "momma"?
Because he was in bread!
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Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch?
It's made from scratch
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What did the oven tell the slice of bread?
You're !
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How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
You tape bread to the ceiling.
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What is it called when there is bread all over the place?
An abundance
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What's baked everyday and sells itself?
bread
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Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?
Well, we had to do something with the ovens.
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What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?
A high rise
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How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?
The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!
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What is the most racist type of bread?
A biguette
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What kind of bread always goes wrong?
A rye
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What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?
They are both in bread.
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What do you call a puppy combined with bread?
Well, It's not a purebread anymore.
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What do you put in a toaster?
I usually put bread in a toaster.
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What does a redneck and yeast have in common?
They are both "in-bread" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.
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How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?
Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.
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What did the SI7 Agent say to a piece of bread in a costume?
Heh, disguised toast.
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What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?
I don't dough!
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What do you get when you cross a loaf of bread with a buffalo?
A: A buffaloaf.
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How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?
Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.
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What's the fastest form of bread?
Scone.
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What kind of shoes does bread wear?
Loafers.
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What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?
Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot
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What do get when you mix two breads?
A hy-bread
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What do you call breads ability to smell?
Naan sense!
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What did the toaster say to the bread?
I want you inside me.
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What's a redneck's favorite type of bread?
Inbred
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What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery?
Bread and Bakedfast!
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What's so lame about a duck President?
Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!
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What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
I'M BREADY TO DIE"
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How do they package bread at the bakery?
They baguette.
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What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?
Crusty
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Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread?
It was a crusty steed!
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What's a redneck's favorite kind of bread?
Inbred.
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What do you call a pompous piece of bread?
A braguette.
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Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers?
Because they are in bread.
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What do you call bread so burnt it can never be ate?
Comatoast
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What did one loaf of bread say to the other?
Weirdo.
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Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?
Because his bread was stollen!!!
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Why did the airplane crash?
The pilot was a loaf of bread.
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How can you tell if a loaf of bread is a boy or girl?
Feel around for the dough nuts
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How do you make a rave party in Africa?
You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling.
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Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta?
Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.
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What do you call a bread that catches a cold?
Flu-catcher bread
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Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast
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How do you start a rave in Uganda?
Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling
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Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
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What do you call a slice of bread from another country?
An immigraint.
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Why do sandwiches never have kids?
Because they always turn out in-bread.
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Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?
The middle yeast