Bride Jokes

  • Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

    Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

  • Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive?

    The brides are already dressed in white.

  • How can you tell if she is virgin or not?

    Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel. Paddy asked, And what do I do with these, doc? The doctor replied, Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, Thats the strangest pair of balls I ever saw., you hit her with the shovel.

  • How far pregnant was the bride?

    American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant

  • Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

    TLDR

  • Why did the Mormon cross the road?

    To get to the other bride!

  • What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

    They toasted the bride and groom.

  • Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding?

    Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face.

  • Why is the bride always sad on her wedding day?

    Because she doesn't get to marry the best man.

  • What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

    A new last name.

  • Why does a bride wear white?

    So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

  • Why are almost all brides dresses white?

    So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

  • Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

    So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

  • Why do Brides wear white?

    To match the rest of the household appliances.

  • Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

    Because she never marries the best man.

  • Why did the lesbian cross the road?

    To get to the other bride!

  • What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?

    You may fist the bride

  • Why does the bride always wear white?

    Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

  • What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage?

    You may now "hiss" the bride.

  • Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done?

    At the ugly parlour.

  • What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

    His surname

  • Why did the bigamist cross the road?

    To get to the other bride.

  • What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

    A new last name.

  • Who cares if you pee in the shower?

    The bride and all her guests, apparently.

  • Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

    He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

  • Who's there ! Bride ! Bride who ?

    Bride and Prejudice !

  • Why does a bride wear white on her wedding day?

    So the dishwasher matches the appliances