Build Jokes

  • How did the little pig win at Monopoly?

    He built hotels on Pork Place.

  • What do you call it when you build a second portal on minecraft?

    Anether(another) Nether

  • Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building?

    It's a long story.

  • How does a Mexican build a house?

    Juan nail at a time.

  • Why did you burn that building down?

    Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

  • Why did the Ape jump off the building?

    He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

  • How do you keep a blonde at home?

    A. Build a circular driveway.

  • What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

    That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

  • Why do they build fences around graveyards?

    Because people are dying to get in

  • How do you build a boat?

    Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

  • What do you call a building you can't locate?

    A warehouse

  • Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

    on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

  • What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

    Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

  • What is the only difference between this year and last year?

    A building in Dubai.

  • What is an ark?

    2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

  • What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

    Tijuana build a snowman

  • Why was Mexico willing to pay to build the wall between the US and Mexico?

    So the can finally have a good Olympic team.

  • What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

    An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

  • What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?

    The outside

  • How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?

    All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

  • Where are average things built?

    In a satisfactory

  • What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

    The Czech bounced.

  • What do disabled people get when there's a fire in the building?

    Left behind

  • Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?

    Officer: I'm making a house arrest

  • What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

    One builds weapons and the other build targets.

  • How do you stop Iran from building a nuclear reactor?

    Send them the Fine Brothers.

  • Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

    Because you have to hollow out the head.

  • What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents?

    An elf driving car

  • Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?


  • How many muslims does it take to climb a building?

    daesh many.

  • What's it called when a dog burns down a building?


  • Why did the console peasants cross the road?

    To render the building on the other side. Console Peasants :DD "Shame of galaxy"

  • Why doesn't North Korea's population exponentially grow?

    Because they must build additional pylons.

  • What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams?

    A bvr

  • When does a black person goes to school?

    When it's being built!

  • How long does it take a group of Mexicans to build a building?

    Oh look, they're done.

  • Why Couldn't the Ancient Egyptians Build a Plane?

    Because, it wasn't very Pharoah-dynamic.

  • What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

    C4 yourself!

  • What happens when two lesbians build a house?

    It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

  • Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

    The dime had more cents.

  • How is Islam like a GPS?

    You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

  • Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

    Because he was Legolas.

  • Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

    Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

  • Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

    Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

  • Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

    Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant.

  • Why did the console peasant cross the street?

    To render the building on the other side!

  • What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

    A comickaze

  • What dog can jump higher than a building?

    Anydog, buildings can't jump!

  • Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?

    Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it

  • What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

  • Why do men fart more than women?

    Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

  • Why did the console peasants walk across the road?

    To render the building on the other side.

  • What do you call a dead body and two planks?

    A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

  • How did the lesbian couple build their house?

    Tongue and groove.

  • How does a penguin build it’s house?

    Igloos it together.

  • Why don't mathematicians build bridges?

    Because they'll never be perfect.

  • What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?


  • What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

    They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

  • Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

    So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

  • What's that Sarge?

    Someone's building a pig."

  • What went wrong in the Challenger launch?

    NASA: have you ever built a space ship Reporter: well no bu- NASA: it's really hard

  • Why did the bees build the hive?

    It's in their beehavior.

  • What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

    Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

  • What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

    It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

  • What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

    20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

  • How do you build a flea circus?

    You have to start from scratch.

  • What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

    Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.

  • Why did Thoreau build a house?

    A: Because he wanted to be walled-in.

  • What's the highest story of any building?

    Floor 20

  • What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

    Build a house next to it.

  • Why aren't there any Mexicans in China?

    Because the Chinese know how to build a wall.

  • Why did the airplane crash into the building?


  • Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

    Cause the building collapsed, duh.

  • What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

    You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

  • What kind of snake is good at building things?

    A boa constructor.

  • What do you call a building that falls in love with its architect?

    Edifice Rex

  • What do you call a Graveyard built on sandstone?

    A sedimentary.

  • How can we build this?

    A business major asks, "How can we finance this " A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that "

  • Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

    So that they could make fish and chips.

  • What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

    Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

  • Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan?

    Because he was a kami!

  • What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

    Any kind, buildings can't jump.

  • What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

    Hobbitat for Humanity

  • Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

    Because it was a government job.

  • What do snakes use to build clocks?

    Metal Gears

  • What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

    Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

  • Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not?

    Because the dime had more cents.

  • Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

    To get to the other side.

  • Why were India kicked out of the Soccer world Cup held in England in 1966 ?

    A. Every time they were given a corner, they built a shop."

  • How do most rappers build a following?

    They go shopping at a department store.

  • What do angry beavers build?


  • What building has the most stories?

    A library.

  • What do lesbians use to get on top of a building?

    A scissor lift.

  • What's the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor?

    The foundation's been laid.

  • What does a musician use to build a house?

    A tuba-four

  • Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

    Because he thought it wood look better!

  • How do you stop an alien invasion?

    You build a wall.

  • What would you do if you won the lottery?

    Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

  • When was Rome built?

    Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

  • How does a carpenter effectively build stairs?

    He thinks one step ahead

  • Why do you want to be Jedi?

    Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

  • What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

    Cottage cheese.

  • Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

    A: You have to hollow out the head.

  • Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums?

    Because people are dying to get in.

  • Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

    Because Rome wasn't built in a bay.

  • Who built the first American car?

    Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims " Student: "Yeah they made the Mayflower Compact."

  • What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

    Build a house next to it.

  • How do you keep brown bears off your property?

    Build a wall

  • Why don't women fart?

    They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

  • Why was Einstein unable to build a wall?

    He only had Ein Stein

  • What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

    A cannibal.

  • Who says building a border wall wont work?

    The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.

  • How many Estonians you need to build a house in Finland ?

    Who knows, there is no tax record of it.

  • What did you learn at summer camp?

    KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

  • When is it too cold to build a snowman?

    When the frostbite is worse then the frostbark.

  • How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

    The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

  • How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?

    On a piece rate.

  • Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die?

    He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.

  • What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

    We're going to build a wall"

  • What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time?

    The Age Of Ultron.

  • Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

    It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

  • How long does it take to build a castle?

    A Fortnight

  • Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

    The old one was made of steal.

  • How does an Eskimo build his house?

    Igloos it together.

  • What's the difference between a refugee and a terrorist?

    I don't know. I just build the fence.

  • What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

    Dubai fours

  • What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

    So far, so good.

  • Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?

    Because there is no atmosphere!

  • How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

    Because they built their stuff with reads!