California Jokes

  • Why ya going to the airport?

    Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

  • What do you call a watermelon in California?

    A melon

  • How many straight men in california does it take to change a lightbulb?

    both of them

  • Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

    Because they, like, can't even deal.

  • Where can you dance in California?

    A. San Fran-disco

  • What two places can you find a California roll?

    Sushi bars and stop signs. Source: am southern Oregonian lots of bad Cali drivers here

  • Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50?

    Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.

  • Why did the blonde move to California?

    To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6

  • What happens when the fog lifts in California?

    UCLA.

  • How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook?

    She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

  • How do you know someone is from California?

    They tell you.

  • What do you call a knuckle sandwich in California?

    A fist taco.

  • What happens when the fog clears in California?

    UCLA

  • Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes?

    San Andreas fault.

  • What does Gwen Stefani say when it rains a lot in California?

    No Drought.**

  • Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?

    What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

  • What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke?

    Yours.

  • What do the woman from southern California and the clouds over the Pacific coast have in commen?

    They're both Marine layers

  • Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

    New Jersey got to choose first

  • Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

    New Jersey had first choice.

  • What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics?

    Albums released through California penal records.

  • Why is it so expensive to divorce a woman here in California?

    Because it's worth it.

  • Why is Reggae so popular in Utah right now?

    Because it was popular in California 10 years ago.

  • What rhymes with California?

    Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song writing session ever