Cancer Jokes
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How do you describe getting cancer on your resume?
As a real growth opprotunity
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How are cancer and pregnancy similar?
They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.
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What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday?
Cancer.
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What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?
Cancer.
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What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?
Cancer
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How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?
Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.
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What kind of cancer always stands by the government?
Pro-state cancer.
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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer
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Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer?
Ben Carsonogen
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What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common?
They never get old.
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What is the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer came back
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What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer?
Someone with no sense of tumor.
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What did the deaf, blind, mute, handicapped kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
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What's the difference between cancer and black people?
Cancer got Jobs.
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What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer
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What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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Why do SJWs like cancer?
Because it doesn't discriminate.
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What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas?
Cancer
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What did the old man get for his birthday?
Cancer.
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What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer!*
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Why did the scare crow get a raise?
Because he was outstanding in his field. Annnnd you all have cancer now.
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What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer...
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What's the difference between cancer and a black guy?
Cancer can get jobs
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What's the prognosis, Doc?
DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.
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Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer?
Fixed* deleted
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What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?
Meesathelioma.
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What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer?
Leukemia Skywalker.
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What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?
Cancer!
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What does Sally have?
Cancer.
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What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?
Cancer.
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Why did the pop band get cancer?
They were radio active.
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What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?
Finding out it's curable.
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What's the difference between feminists and cancer?
Cancer reproduces itself.
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What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?
Cancer. ( )
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How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?
Cancer :)
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What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?
Cancer. ( )
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What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?
Cancer
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How did the muslim get cancer?
By smoking a lot of fags.
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Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?
Cancer stole our jobs!"
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What did the blind, def and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What do fish do when they have cancer?
Nemotherapy
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What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas?
Cancer. Happy new years folks!
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What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?
They were both inside Jobs
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Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?
Because they're trying asbestos they can.
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What does my jokes and cancer have in common?
Only my dad gets it.
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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What do you call a video game that gives cancer?
Tombr Aider
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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What do you call a terrorist with cancer?
A free radical.
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What does the kid with no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer
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What's the diagnosis doctor?
What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'
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What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer
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What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?
Cancer
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Why did the girl cry on the swing?
She has cancer
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What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?
Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple..?
Cancer.
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What did Timmy get for Christmas?
Cancer
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Why can't the armless girl comb?
Because she already had cancer.
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What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas?
cancer
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What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?
Cancer
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When is the worst time to get Cancer?
North of the equator.
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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?
Getting diagnosed with cancer.
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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
Cancer. :(
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What's the difference between a black person and cancer?
Cancer got Jobs
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What did the blind paraplegic get for Christmas?
cancer.
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What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What did the paraplegic retard get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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How do you get gum out of your hair?
Get cancer
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Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?
It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.
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What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?
Cancer
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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas?
AIDS
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What do cheese and cancer have in common?
Americans put it everywhere!
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What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?
Cancer.
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Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?
I Just Found Out I Have Cancer...
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What do you call a blonde geek with cancer?
A dumb terminal
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What is the difference between cancer and a Brazilian?
Cancer evolves, a Brazilian doesn't.
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What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas?
cancer
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How do people with leukemia know they have cancer?
They can feel it in their bones.
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What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?
Adenocarcinoma
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What did the blind, deaf, mute girl get for Christmas??
Cancer.
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How did realism get me banned from Facebook?
I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.
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What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?
Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!
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What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?
He has cancer.
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Where did the Irish guy get cancer?
In his prostatoe.
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What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas?
Cancer.
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What was it again ?
Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !
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What's the difference between black people and cancer?
Cancer got Jobs
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What do you call an egg that cures cancer?
A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.
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What did the 11 year old junior paleontologist and 50-cent music lover with cancer receive from the one wish foundation?
A Rap Tour
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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?
Prostate
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How did the clock get cancer?
Second-hand smoke!
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What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?
Never 21