Candy Jokes

  • Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

    If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

  • How do sheep divide candy?

    They all get their fair shear

  • Which do you choose?

    WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

  • Why does Daniel love white vans?

    Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

  • Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

    It was Valenswine's Day.

  • How are music and candy similar?

    We throw away the rappers.

  • How do you spell candy with two letters?

    C and Y

  • What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

    Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

  • How's everyone else holding up?

    Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

  • Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

    Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

  • How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?


  • Which candy is never on time?


  • Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

    She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

  • What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?

    Dental floss !

  • What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

    Lots a candy.

  • Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ?

    Candy cow jump over the moon !

  • Whats your favorite pickup line?

    Mine is: I'll give you candy if you get in the van

  • Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby?

    Stealing candy from a dead baby.

  • Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

    Allahu snackbar!

  • Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

    Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

  • What did the pedophiliac rabbi say to the young boy?

    Hey there little boy, you wanna BUY some candy?

  • Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

    To Test a Mint

  • What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

    Pre-nup brittle.

  • What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

    Cheez It!