Case Jokes
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What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?
Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)
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What would be a terrible name for a new beer?
Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...
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Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?
Because they should use protection to practice safe text
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What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?
In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
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Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?
They had no leads.
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Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?
In case he gets a hole-in-one
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
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How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
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A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
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Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha
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What Color Is It?
In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.
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What would you do?
Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.
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Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?
A. So they can park in handicapped zones.
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Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?
Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.
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Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?
In case he gets a hole in one.
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Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
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What do I do when my luggage gets tired?
I rest my case.
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Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one
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What did you just do?
CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*
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What's the deal with my laptop?
I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.
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How does one sink, that which floats?
How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.
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Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?
It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...
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Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?
I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.
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Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
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Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?
In case you get a hole in one!
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Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?
In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.
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Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?
Tequila, I'm looking at you.
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Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?
In case they run out of bullets.
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Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?
He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
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What is a detective duck supposed to do?
Quack the case! I'll show myself out.
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Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to
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Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
A: It is usually still in the case.
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Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?
In case Johnny Onion Rings!
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What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?
A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.
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Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?
In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)
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What is the magic word?
son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case
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Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?
Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball
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What should be done in case of apparent drowning?
Take the parent out of the water
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Why do ducks make the best detectives?
They always quack the case
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Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?
In case your other agus breaks.
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What is the difference between a woman and a forklift?
There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand.
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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
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Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?
In case you get a hole in one.
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Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?
In case he got a hole-in-one!
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Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?
It's always prepared.
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How many gears does a French battle tank have?
Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.
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What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
In the case of the bmw, the pricks are on the inside.
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What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea?
A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy
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Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?
In case you wake the sleeping pills!
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Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?
In case of any night mares!
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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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What do you call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer?
A pinat
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Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one.
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What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?
Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:
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Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?
In case he got a hole in one.
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Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case he gets a hole in one!
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Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.