Cash Jokes

  • What do you get when you cash in your memes for karma?

    A dank statement.

  • Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

    The riverbank.

  • How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

    Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

  • What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

    A rootabaga.

  • Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

    Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

  • Who's there ! Cash ! Cash who ?

    Cash me if you can !

  • What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

    Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

  • Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

    I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

  • Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

    They prefer cash.

  • When should you charge a battery?

    A: When you can't pay cash.

  • How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

    Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

  • How bad is the economy?

    Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

  • Why are birds always short on cash?

    Because they have bills.

  • How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

    Cash or Czech Edit: a word

  • What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

    Sir Charge

  • What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash?

    He's making bankon.