Casino Jokes

  • What is your best casino joke?

    I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

  • How can you always break even at the casino?

    Play the change machines.

  • Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

    He was caught counting carbs.

  • Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

    They Havana no money to spend.

  • How are women like casinos?

    Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

  • What'd you do this weekend?

    I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

  • Why are there so few casinos in Africa?

    Too many cheetahs

  • What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

    In a casino, you really mean it.

  • Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

    Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

  • Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

    Because they, like, can't even deal.

  • How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

    Walk in with $2 Million.

  • Why do lambs go to casinos?

    They love to gambol.

  • What did the nun wear to the casino?

    Her gambling habit.

  • Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

    Because they don't like Tibet

  • Why doesn't china have casinos?

    Because they hate Tibet.

  • Why are there no casinos in China?

    Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

  • Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

    Because there's too many cheetahs!

  • Why did the pig go to the casino ?

    To play the slop machine !

  • What is the name of that casino on the beach?

    Pair-a-dice.

  • Why did the monks go to the casino?

    Tibet.