Cent Jokes

  • Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not?

    Because the dime had more cents.

  • Why did the rich man go crazy?

    He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

  • Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

    Because they don't make any cents.

  • What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?


  • What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him?

    He's got more money than cents

  • Why was the anomaly so poor?

    Because it didn't make any cents!

  • Why is a change machine easy to understand?

    It makes cents.

  • How much did the critic tip the waitor?

    two cents

  • Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

    Because it had more cents

  • Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

    Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

  • What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

    I'm in a cent.

  • Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

    It didn't make cents

  • Which president was the most logical?

    Lincoln. He made the most cents.

  • Why is a coin factory so logical?

    Because it makes cents.

  • What makes perfect sense?

    The U.S. mint (cents)

  • Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

    Because he was always in a cent.

  • What happened to the minter who went crazy?

    He stopped making cents.

  • What did the penny say to the other penny?

    Let's get together and make some cents.

  • How much is a soft drink ?

    Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

  • Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

    Because they make cents!

  • How do you pay for incense?

    In cents

  • Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

    The dime had more cents.

  • Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

    Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

  • Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

    Because this docent makes any cents.

  • Why do people throw coins into foutains?

    Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

  • Which president was least guilty?

    Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

  • How much did the critic tip the waiter?

    Two cents

  • Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

    Because he was in-a-cent!

  • What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

    This is non-cents!

  • Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

    It just makes cents.

  • Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

    Because it makes cents (sense).