Centipede Jokes

  • What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

    A centipede on meth.

  • What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede?

    A walkie talkie!

  • What's worse than a centipede with sore feet?

    A giraffe with a sore throat.

  • What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ?

    A centipede with a wooden leg !

  • Why a centipede cannot fly coach?

    Not enough leg room!

  • Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ?

    He took too long to put his boots on !

  • Why was the centipede late ?

    Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

  • What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?

    A centipede with a wooden leg!

  • What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?

    Enough drumsticks to feed an army !

  • What has 100 legs but can't walk?

    Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

  • What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?

    A centipede with athlete's foot !

  • What did the robot say to the centipede?

    Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

  • What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?

    A centipede