Cheese Jokes

  • What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

    Camembert!

  • Why did the cheese cry?

    It was degrating.

  • Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

    It was legend dairy.

  • What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie?

    A salty cracker with cheese.

  • What's better than cheese?

    A cheese grater

  • What did the cheese say to its reflection?

    Halloumi!

  • What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

    A quarter-pounder with cheese.

  • What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

    NA'CHO CHEESE

  • What does God smell like?

    Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

  • What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

    Hallooooo me!

  • What's Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?

    Gorgonzola.

  • What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

    gets arrested*

  • What kind of cheese gives out money?

    Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:

  • What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror?

    halloumi

  • What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

    A cracker with cheese

  • What type of cheese lives under your bed?

    Muenster.

  • What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

    A double quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

    Battle Royale with cheese

  • What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta?

    Maaaac

  • What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?

    A quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

    Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

  • What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

    Cottage cheese.

  • What's a monk's favorite kind of cheese?

    Smoked buddha.

  • What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

    A paddy melt!!

  • Why don't French people smile in pictures?

    The French word for "cheese" is "fromage".

  • What do you call cheese that's not yours ?

    Nacho cheese

  • What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

    One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

  • Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

    A: He wanted to feed the mouse.

  • What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

    a quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

    a quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What do you call a quaterpounder with cheese in Zimbabwe?

    A yeast infection!

  • What's the most annoying thing about making cheese?

    The curds get in the whey!

  • How did I boast to the cheese I made myself?

    Gruyere."

  • What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

    Mascarpone!

  • What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz?

    Cheese was.

  • How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

    Liver alone, cheese mine!

  • What is the most independent kind of cheese?

    Prov alone.

  • What do you call a cheese that's not yours?

    My cheese!

  • What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

    Quarter-pounder with cheese

  • How can we possibly improve this?

    Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

  • How do cheese strings work?

    I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

  • What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

    Battle Royale with Cheese.

  • Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

    It was destined for grater.

  • How is making cheese like invading Syria?

    You get some Kurds in the way.

  • How do you discuss cheese with a Welshman?

    Very Caerphilly.

  • Which cheese is the loneliest?

    Prov-alone!

  • What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

    Camenbert

  • What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

    Camembert

  • What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

    A Wurst-Kse Scenario

  • What is Rhiannas favorite type of cheese?

    mozzarella-ella-ella

  • What is a sorority girl's favorite type of cheese?

    Feta

  • What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

    Mascarpone

  • Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

    Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

  • Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ?

    Bologna & cheese !

  • What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?

    Rats!

  • What does cheese say when you take its picture?

    Make sure you get my Gouda side!

  • Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

    Coz 'e-mmental!

  • What do you call cheese that isn't yours...?

    Not *your* cheese!

  • What's Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

    Gorgon*zola

  • Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

    Because he's not a rat.

  • What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

    A quarter pounder with cheese

  • What did the milk say to the cheese?

    Hey, you're old!

  • What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection?

    A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

  • What do they call Independence Day in France?

    A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

  • What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

    Smoked Muenster.

  • What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese !

  • What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

    I rest my queso.

  • What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

    Cracka-lackin

  • What do you call a Mexican drowning in a vat of cheese?

    Nacho problem.

  • What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar?

    Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

  • What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection?

    A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum

  • Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?

    In a Parma-John.

  • What do you call cheese that is not yours?

    Nacho Cheese.

  • What did the mouse say to the webcam?

    Cheese.

  • What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

    Thank you I'll just have a slither.

  • What do you call an Ethiopian with a piece of cheese on his head?

    Quarter pounder with cheese!

  • What type of cheese is made backwards?

    Edam

  • What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

    Haloumi!

  • What cheese is not yours?

    Not your cheese....

  • Who is the commander of cheese?

    Sargento

  • What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

    That's no whey to go through life, son.

  • What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

    Battle Royale with cheese.

  • What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese?

    Mi Kase es su Kase.

  • What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?

    Camembert!

  • What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese

  • Which cheese is schizophrenic?

    Halloumi

  • What state makes exclusively swiss cheese?

    Swisconsin.

  • What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?

    A cracker with cheese.

  • What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

    taking out a provoloan

  • What kind of cheese is made backwards?

    Edam.

  • What type of cheese can you see in a mirror?

    Halloumi! (Hello me)

  • Why was the cheese so sad?

    Because it was provOLONE

  • What do you call cheese that isn't your cheese?

    NACHO-CHEESE

  • What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

    A quarter-pounder with cheese.

  • Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?

    SNOE

  • What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?

    NACHO CHEESE!

  • What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese

  • What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

    About 100 French people right now

  • What do you call a Ethiopian with gonorrhoea?

    A quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What cheese can never be yours?

    Nacho cheese.

  • Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

    Because Jesus took the wheel.

  • How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

    A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

  • How do you get wishes from cheese?

    You fed-a-genie!

  • Why did ranch break up with chicken wings?

    Because he blue cheese...

  • What do you call cheese that is by itself?

    Provolone

  • What kind of cheese?

    Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

  • What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

    One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

  • What did one cheese say to the other?

    I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!

  • What do you call the god of cheese?

    Cheesus

  • What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

    A quarter-pounder with cheese

  • What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    Someone else's cheese.

  • Why do white people like cheese so much?

    Because they're made from cultures! Edit: Five BLM members disliked this post.

  • How does cheese get more mature?

    Fromage

  • What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of its cage?

    Camembert

  • What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

    Gouda Hell.

  • What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

    Mac in cheese

  • What do you say to an art student with a job?

    Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"

  • What cheese is used to block online streaming?

    Edam

  • What do you call cheese that's not yours?

    Colby Jack's.

  • What musical instrument goes with cheese?

    Picklelo.

  • Who's cheese is on those chips?

    Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.

  • What's Emperor Palpatine's favorite kind of cheese?

    Gouda, gouda..."

  • What do you call cheese by itself?

    Provolone.

  • What cheese can never be yours?

    Nacho cheese.

  • Why is it impossible to say no to french fries with cheese and bacon?

    Because it's a loaded question!

  • What do you call an anorexic.. What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

    Quarter-pounder with cheese

  • What is Gucci Mane's favorite kind of cheese?

    Gruyauuuurrrrrrrrrr

  • What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

    czech-e-cheese

  • What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

    Camembert!

  • How does Jennifer Lopez like her cheese?

    From the block.

  • What do you want on your tombstone?

    Pepperoni and cheese.

  • What's the best part about twenty two year old wheels of cheese?

    There are twenty of them.

  • What do cheese and cancer have in common?

    Americans put it everywhere!

  • What happened to the Greek dairy farmer who got robbed on his way to market?

    He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.

  • What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

    Leave my provolone!

  • What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

    Mascarpone!

  • Why did the cheese go to the museum?

    To get cultured

  • What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

    A cottage"

  • What type of cheese is not yours?

    Nacho cheese!!!

  • What sweetie?

    Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

  • What do u call an ethopian with a slice of cheese on his head?

    A quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What type of cheese is strong?

    Shredded cheese.

  • What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

    Swish cheese.

  • How have you done that?

    I don't know how but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell he gives me a piece of cheese.

  • Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

    because they're inbred

  • What do you call an Italian guy whos afraid of cheese?

    Alfredo

  • What's a mouse's favourite record ?

    Please cheese me !

  • What is a mouse's favorite record ?

    Please cheese me' !

  • What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

    A quarter pounder with cheese.

  • What kind of sandwich is this?

    She asks. "It cheese ma."

  • What cheese is the most religious?

    Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)