Chicken Jokes
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Who's no chicken?
Donald duck.
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How do you sell chicken to a deaf man?
A: HEY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN !!!!!!!
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Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
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What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?
Pout-ry farm..
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Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?
The kernel was looking for him.
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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach
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What do you call a group of Pigeons and Chickens?
A Coo Clucks Clan
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Why did the chicken cross the 38th parallel?
Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far
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Why did the t-rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.
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What's the worst part about going down on a vegan?
They taste like chicken.
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What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?
I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!
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Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.
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Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?
To Prove They Were Not Chicken
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Why did the chicken run out into traffic?
To get to the other side.
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How do chickens connect online?
faceBAWK!
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Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road?
Because it had a bad motivator!
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Why did vegan cross the road?
Because chicken came to his side.
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What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?
He chicken tendered his resignation.
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Why did the chickens cross the border?
Because they were Turkish.
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What type of trees do chickens grow on?
Poul-trees
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What do you call a clan for chickens?
Coo clucks clan
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How do you make a chicken salad?
Make a salad and give it to a chicken.
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Why the chicken cross the road?
To say Hello from the other side
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What do you call a chicken haunting your house?
A Poultrygeist!
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Why did Mozart hate chickens?
Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!
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Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
The Rooster
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How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck?
Just enough to hold it's pecker up...
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Why do we need to die?
chickens
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Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
A: It was closed.
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Why did the black person cross the road?
To fry the chicken.
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What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.
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What do you call a chicken you own?
A personal fowl
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What do you get when you cross a tiger and a chicken?
Just the tiger
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Why did the chicken cross the street?
DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over?
Because he's a dirty double crosser.
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What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ?
An eggroll !
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Why the chicken cross the road .... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it?
Neither do I, I get the new york times
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Why is an elephant braver than a hen ?
Because the elephant isn't chicken !
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Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
The outside.
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What goes 'peck bang peck bang peck bang' ?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !
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Why'd the chicken cross the road.?
reasons unknown
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Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?
she wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..
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How does the chef prepare the chicken?
The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"
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Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?
Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.
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What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup
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What do you call it when a group of chickens rebel against their farmers?
Coop d'etah
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Why did the chicken go to the principal's office?
Because he had fowl languange.
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Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?
Because his family had stock in the company.
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How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried
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Which day do chickens fear most?
Fryday.
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What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?
Roasting a chicken.
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What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?
One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
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Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?
ah wait, i can't remember the rest :/
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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?
A fowl smell!
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Whatcha doing on the PC?
Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
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Why are chickens racist?
They are all in the Coop Clucks Clan
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What did the chicken say before laying an egg?
Yahoo. There goes my baby.
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Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road?
Because it's a chicken.
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Why are chickens never invited to the party?
They are always party fowls.
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Where was the first chicken fried?
In Greece.
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What part of a chicken is a musical instrument?
The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)
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Why are elephants wiser than chickens ?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant !
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Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday.
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Why was the chicken happy?
A: Everything was eggcellent.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.
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Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?
pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people
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How do ghosts like their chicken cooked?
Terri-fried!
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How did the chicken cross the freeway?
You take the 'F' out of free and the 'F' out of way. Hint: say everything out loud.
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Why did the two chickens cross the road?
To avoid debating Bernie Sanders
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was too chicken!
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Which dance will a chicken not do ?
The foxtrot !
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What do you call a chicken with no neck?
A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.
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How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.
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Why can't chickens pee?
Their pecker's on the wrong end.
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Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!
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Why did the chicken attend the seance?
To get to the other side.
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Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road?
he was two chickens
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What do you call a chicken with political ambition?
Republic-hen
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Why do blacks raise chickens?
To teach their kids how to walk.
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What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak?
Teaching the chicken to cook
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How does a chicken do their hair?
With a comb, In one fowl swoop.
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Why did the chicken go around the world?
Because his name was Marco Pollo..
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Why did the chicken run out of the brothel?
Whore moans.
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What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?
Coop-cakes !
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When do chickens stop laying eggs?
Henopause
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What happened when the chicken ate cement ?
She laid a sidewalk !
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What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?
A chicken stepping on a landmine.
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Why did yo girl cross the road?
Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.
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What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?
She kicked the bucket !
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Why did the chicken cross the pathway?
By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.
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Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."
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What's the saddest thing about being a chicken?
You only get laid once.
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Why did Pee-wee Herman cross the road?
He was choking the chicken.
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Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?
To get to the Other side
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What did the chicken say after laying an egg?
Oeuf!"
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Why did the chickens cross the road?
Because they were Turkish.
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Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?
To get to the other side.
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Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!
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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.
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What does the chicken says to the other chicken?
Nothing.
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What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over?
A dirty double crosser.
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What is the difference between chicken and blondes ?
The chicken knows on whose eggs sitting .
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Why did the black guy cross the road?
He heard there was chicken on the other side!
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What did 1 lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?
They're right we do taste like chicken!
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What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?
A Henman.
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What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?
In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.
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Why did the lost tourist cross the road?
The chicken looked like he knew where he was going.
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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down !
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Why did the chicken end up in the soup ?
Because it ran out of cluck !
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Why do chickens go to church?
To get to the other side
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Why do chickens sit on their eggs?
Because they don't have chairs.
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Why did they let the chicken join the band?
Because he brought his own drumsticks
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Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
It wanted to get to the other site !
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Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?
Because Croc-a-doodle-doo is a good family name.
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How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?
HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!
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Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
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What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?
Chicken tikka m'sala
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How do chickens get strong?
They egg-cersize.
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Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?
He didn't want to be called chicken
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What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order.
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Why did the chicken hold a seance?
To get to the other side.
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Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice?
It didn't like being double crossed.
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What's the fastest animal in the world?
A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.
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Why did the chicken limp across the road?
Because it was a lame joke.
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Why did the punk cross the road?
He was safety-pinned to the chicken.
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Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken. >:
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What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?
They're right! We do taste like chicken!
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How long do chickens work ?
Around the cluck !
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What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?
Two chickens and a goat.
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Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road?
because it did.
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What shoes to chickens wear?
Reebok bok bok
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How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it?
With the chicken still around it
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Why don't chickens have lips?
Because then they'd have soft peckers
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How do you walk a chicken on a leash?
You pullet.
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Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!
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What did the road say to the chicken?
If you cross me it will be the last thing you do!"
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Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens?
Because they're jerks.
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What do you call too many chickens on a farm?
A cluster cluck.
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What did the duck say to the chicken who was about to cross the road?
quack
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Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
To show the opossum it could be done.
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What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ?
Fowl play !
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What brand of shoes do chickens wear?
Reebok bok bok
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Why did the snail cross the road ?
It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.
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What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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Why did the dog cross the road?
A: Because it was the chickens day off.
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Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide
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Why did the chicken cross the rode?
To get to the other side.
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Why does everything taste like chicken?
Because God is black.
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What does the chicken do to get through college?
She strips.
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What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?
Jesus died on the cross
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Why did the chicken get a Ouija Board?
To contact those on the other side.
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Why don't chickens wear pants?
Because their pecker is on their face.. Thank you, good night!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?
Because he was a dirty double crosser.
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Why did the chicken cross the state line?
He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!
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Why did the chicken get himself run over by a car?
To get to the "other side".
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What came first?
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
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Why did the chicken double-cross the road?
To change sides.
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Why did the chicken walk into the bar?
To screw in the lightbulb.
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What do you call a chicken going to the moon?
Apollo 11
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How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?
Chick to chick !
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How did the road break its ankles?
The chicken crossed it.
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Why did the chicken cross OP's mother?
0
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Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a double-crosser
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Why did the car swerve off the road?
It hit the chicken. Bazing!
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Why did the chicken get a penalty?
For fowl play.
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Why are chickens never virgins?
A: Because when they're born they get laid.
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What name is given to the most chickens ?
pEGGy
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What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?
A chicken
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Why'd the chicken cross The Road?
Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.
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What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef!
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Why did the cactus cross the road?
It got stuck to the chicken.
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Why don't chicken coops have Four doors?
because then they would be Chicken sedans
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What did a lesbian frog tell another lesbian frog?
Damm, we do taste like chicken!
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Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?
Because a tuna can!
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What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?
How far do you think i can kick this bucket Also, Why did the chicken cross the road He was in the bucket(/spoiler)
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Why did the chicken lock itself in the freezer?
to get to the other side.
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Why did the rooster run away ?
He was chicken !
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What do you call a chicken at the north pole?
Lost.
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What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?
A poultry-geist.
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What did the egg say to the pan or boiling water?
It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken."
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Why did the chicken cross the rogue?
To get to the other side.
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Why did the chicken run around screaming?
Because he had to use the bathroom.
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What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
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How did the dead baby get across the road?
Me: How Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: .....
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Why shouldn't the chicken cross the road?
It would be a fowl proceeding.
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What did one little lesbian frog say to the other?
We really do taste like chicken!"
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house... Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.
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What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
Hey! We really DO taste like chicken!
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What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?
A fried Chicken leg
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How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?
pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)
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What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?
You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"
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Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?
He had a chicken stapled to his face.
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What is the the Chicken's favorite composer?
bach bach bach time to return to
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Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife?
Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side.
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What did the egg say to the water?
I cant get hard, i just got laid by the chicken.
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Why did the suicidal man cross the road?
Because he wanted to play chicken.
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What came first the egg or the Chicken?
the egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?
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What is the most affectionate type of chicken?
The tender ones (Badum Tss)
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What does a chicken call its backpack?
A BokBok...
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Why did the chicken cross the bridge?
To get away from the Turkey coop.
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What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
Dead.
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Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?
He wanted to lay it on the line !
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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who gives a cluck (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible )
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Why did the chicken run into a well?
Because it didn't see that well.
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Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.
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Why'd the pervert cross the road?
He couldn't pull out of the chicken
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Why did the chicken cross my wife?
Because I ran her over in the street.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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Why do chickens sit on eggs?
Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.
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Why'd the chicken cross the court?
Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..
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How do dinosaurs like their chicken?
RAWWWWWWWW!!!!
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Why did chicken cross the road?
Because Intermediate value theorem
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Why did the chicken get a strike?
Because it was a fowl.
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Why did the stoner cross the road?
A: Who else would follow a chicken
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist yet.
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Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street?
To get the Yolk Rite.
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Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?
Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s
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What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?
Steal a chicken
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Why did the lollipop cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?
To show he wasn't a chicken.
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Why did the hen cross the road?
because chicken.
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Why did the Frog cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the Chicken.
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Why did the chicken fall in the well?
He couldn't see that well.
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How many black guys does it take to cook chicken?
None. Blacks belong in the fields, woman belong in the kitchen.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and then cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the fallen child cross the road?
Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.
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How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing?
HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!
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What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken?
It staged a coup
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Why did the chicken run across the road?
She was worried the egg would get there first.
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Why does the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
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Why don't chicken wear underwear?
Because their pecker is on their face.
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Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken.
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Why did the chicken cross the ocean?
To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
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Why did the robot cross the road?
Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.
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Why did the chicken cross the stage?
To get to the other aside!
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Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Because their peckers are on their faces.
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What came first: the chicken or the egg?
The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.
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How do you outsmart a chicken?
By thinking outside the bawks.
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Why did the chicken cross the Mbius strip?
To get to the same side.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?
A brick-layer !
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How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?
No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.
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Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?
He was studying foreign languages.
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Why did the elephant cross the road ?
Because the chicken was having a day off !
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Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator?
I don't know.
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What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
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Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
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Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide...
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What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?
The spelling.
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Why did the chicken?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.
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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
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Why did the chicken have a seance?
To get to the other side
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What did the chicken say after it's wings caught on fire?
Damn, I sure got some hot wings!"
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What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?
A: Oh-lay!
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What did the chicken say ?
What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.
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Why did the chicken get into so much trouble?
Because of its fowl language.
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Why doesn't a chicken wear underwear?
Because his pecker is on his face!
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What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road?
Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!"
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Why Latvian man did cross road?
Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.
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Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because the ref was blowing a foul.
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Why did the chicken cross the school yard?
To get to the other slide!
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What did Adele say when the chicken crossed the road?
Hello from the other side...
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What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?
You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"