China Jokes
-
Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China?
All the dongs.
-
What do you call a high security U.S. prison in China?
Wonton-amo Bay
-
What is China's favorite ice cream flavor?
Licorice
-
What do you call a robbery in China ?
A Chinese take away !
-
How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.
-
Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?
Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.
-
Why did Genghis invade China?
Because he khan.
-
Why is there no phone books in china?
Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.
-
What's the most popular Internet meme in China?
Ayy lMao
-
How do you get a job with Apple?
Be born in China.
-
What's the name of China's new atmosphere-cleanup program?
The Desolation of Smog.
-
What's the hottest thing in China right now?
A Tibetan monk on fire.
-
What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China?
Pollution.
-
Why did the Chinese man tell a joke?
Just China be funny.
-
What are the most common 3 words used all around the world?
Made in China.
-
Why doesn't china have casinos?
Because they hate Tibet.
-
How did the knight know that his armor was made in China?
He found a chink in it.
-
Why is it that there aren't much natural oil resources in China?
They ate all the dinosaurs
-
How did Kikkoman soy sauce move production to China?
They outsauced it.
-
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because then they'd have to hold erections.
-
What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?
Con-grab-ur-asians!!
-
Why doesn't democracy work in china?
Because no one wants to hold an erection.
-
Where do the Chinese study?
In the Pupils republic of China
-
What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?
The spelling.
-
Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China?
Because there are so many "Wings" and "Wongs" they'd still wing the wong number.
-
Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China?
That would be wong on so many levels!
-
How can you tell if your "designer clothes" are made in China?
If they look fabric-cated Very bad, I know. "This is why we don't have friends!!"
-
How does the china man say "wrong"?
he says "wong"
-
Who was the most powerful cat in China ?
Chairman Miaow !
-
Why dont they use phone books in China?
Because they have so many Wing's and Wong's That they might Wing the Wong Numba!!!
-
Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?
THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.
-
Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?
They need clean air.
-
Why is China a communist country?
Because nobody wants to hold an erection.
-
Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?
The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.
-
Why does China care so much about money?
They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.
-
How do you end world hunger?
Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.
-
Why doesn't China have a phone directory?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs they'd still wing the wong number.
-
What's the name of the richest man in China?
Cha Ching
-
How Long is a battleship. True or false?
False. How Long is a man from China.
-
Why are there no stray dogs in China?
Have you heard of stray chickens
-
Why isn't anyone afraid of China?
Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today. :)
-
What happened in China on Christmas?
The Rice-child was born.
-
What do you call a productive Asian?
China get something done.
-
Who's there ! China ! China who?
China late isn't it !
-
What's the most popular soup in China?
Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo
-
Who is your favorite President of China?
According to her it's Mao.
-
What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?
Ben Ching.
-
What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?
The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."
-
Who was the last President of China?
Yes he was.
-
What do you call 69-ing in China?
Tu Can Chu
-
Why are turtles dangerous in China ?
Because they can turtle you.
-
What do you call a cheap maid uniform?
Maid in China.
-
Why aren't there any Mexicans in China?
Because the Chinese know how to build a wall.
-
What's China's national colour?
Censo-red.
-
What's your favorite city in China?
Taiwan
-
Why wasn't the aeroplane invented in China?
Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.
-
Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?
The government is opposed to euthanasia.
-
What's considered an homemade gift in China?
An IPhone.
-
What was the name of the heaviest man in china?
Won ton
-
What do you call a guy from China who is confused?
Disoriented.
-
What do you call a rooster from China?
Caucasian
-
What river separates China and India?
Answer: the Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey)
-
What do you call a dog with lice in China?
Full course dinner
-
Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China?
A: Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.
-
What country is the most fragile?
China!
-
How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?
China probably can pop corn in one minute.
-
Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?
Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.
-
What is the most important factor in China's future?
Euthanasia.
-
What sound does a doorbell make in China?
ping pong.
-
How long is a china-man?
Excuse the question mark, "How Long" is in fact a china man.
-
Why don't they have phone books in China?
Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.
-
Why is China so politically in bed with Africa?
Because China is the biggest coal burner in the world
-
Why does China hate Digimon Fans?
Because they recognise Ty won
-
What do Lumber jacks do in China?
Chop sticks!
-
Why are there no casinos in China?
Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...
-
What do they call Peter Pan in China?
Peter Wok
-
What's the difference between KFC and China?
At KFC, you can only get breasts, legs, and thighs.
-
What did Blizzard do on Warcraft's opening night?
Farm gold in China.
-
What do viagra and China have in common?
Rigged erections
-
Why did China lose WW2?
Because their weapons were made in China
-
Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?
It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
-
Why were there no feminists in Communist China?
Because everyone had equal rice.
-
What do geological plates and dinner plates have in common?
They're both pieces of china.