Chocolate Jokes

  • What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

    A Coconut.

  • How can you tell God is a man?

    If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

  • What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

    Life is like a box of chocolates...

  • What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

    Lindt choclate.

  • How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

    It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

  • Why do women love chocolate?

    Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

  • How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?


  • What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

    Everybody gets a piece.

  • What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

    Brownian Motion

  • Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?


  • What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

    A chocolate BAAA

  • What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?


  • Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

    Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

  • What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

    A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

  • What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

    A runny bunny.