Christian Jokes
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What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?
Poison by Christian Dior !
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What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?
They may have a Christian Bale in them.
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What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?
Their parents.
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What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?
A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.
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What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?
Faith lifts
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What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?
A Christian Bale
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Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?
One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.
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What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?
A Christian bail.
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Why can't you checkmate a christian?
Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.
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Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?
Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.
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Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?
Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.
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What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?
A Christian...
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What does a dyslexic Christian worship?
Dog
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What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?
A cross-dresser.
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What do you call Batman if he leaves church?
Christian bail.
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Who needs whips and chains?
Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.
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What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?
G,Esus.
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Why do Christian figureheads not like science?
Because it's about two Adams bonding.
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Which chord is essential to every Christian song?
Gsus
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What do you call Batman skipping church?
Christian bail.
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What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?
A couple of steps closer to their final destination.
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Why did batman leave church?
Because Christian Baled
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How do I big it?
Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.
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What do you call a christian crawdad?
A Prayfish.
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Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?
DogMa
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What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?
One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.
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Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian?
Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out
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Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?
Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.
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What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?
G-sus
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How do you starve a right wing christian?
Hide their money in their bible.
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What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?
A roamin' Catholic.
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What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?
JESUS HALLELUJAH
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What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?
Christian Bale.
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How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?
nun
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Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?
Episcopaleontologists
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What do you call a greedy Christian?
A moreman.
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What do you call an all guy Christian party?
A suseJ fest
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What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?
The A-Men
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What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?
THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!
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Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic?
Nostrildamus
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What do you call it when Batman skips church..?
Christian Bale.
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What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?
An argument
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Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?
Because they can lie about their age!
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What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?
You get a Christian Bale
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What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?
A convertible.
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What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?
A Christian bail
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What's it called when Batman walks out of church?
Christian Bale Hah