Christian Jokes

  • What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

    Poison by Christian Dior !

  • What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

    They may have a Christian Bale in them.

  • What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

    Their parents.

  • What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

    A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

  • What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?

    Faith lifts

  • What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

    A Christian Bale

  • Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

    One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

  • What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

    A Christian bail.

  • Why can't you checkmate a christian?

    Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

  • Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

    Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

  • Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

    Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

  • What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?

    A Christian...

  • What does a dyslexic Christian worship?


  • What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?

    A cross-dresser.

  • What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

    Christian bail.

  • Who needs whips and chains?

    Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

  • What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?


  • Why do Christian figureheads not like science?

    Because it's about two Adams bonding.

  • Which chord is essential to every Christian song?


  • What do you call Batman skipping church?

    Christian bail.

  • What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

    A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

  • Why did batman leave church?

    Because Christian Baled

  • How do I big it?

    Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

  • What do you call a christian crawdad?

    A Prayfish.

  • Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?


  • What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

    One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

  • Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian?

    Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out

  • Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

    Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

  • What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?


  • How do you starve a right wing christian?

    Hide their money in their bible.

  • What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

    A roamin' Catholic.

  • What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?


  • What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

    Christian Bale.

  • How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?


  • Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?


  • What do you call a greedy Christian?

    A moreman.

  • What do you call an all guy Christian party?

    A suseJ fest

  • What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?

    The A-Men

  • What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?


  • Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic?


  • What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

    Christian Bale.

  • What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

    An argument

  • Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

    Because they can lie about their age!

  • What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

    You get a Christian Bale

  • What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

    A convertible.

  • What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

    A Christian bail

  • What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

    Christian Bale Hah