Clam Jokes

  • How do clams communicate?

    A shell phone!

  • What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend?

    You're so shelfish!

  • What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?

    Kelp!

  • What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?

    Her clam smells like fish!

  • Why did the clam get in an accident?

    He was talking on his shellphone.

  • Why did the clam go to jail?

    For setting up illegal shell companies!

  • What does a clam do on his birthday?

    He shellabrates!

  • Why do mermaids put their things on top of clams?

    Because clams are shelf-ish.

  • Why didn't the clam share his ipod?

    He was shellfish.

  • What game do lesbians like to play?

    Clash of Clams

  • What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance?

    The clam before the storm!