Cod Jokes

  • What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

    One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

  • Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

    Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

  • What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

    Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

  • What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

    I've cod a cold."

  • What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

    Pick a cod, any cod!

  • Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

    Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

  • What did the fisherman say to the magician?

    Pick a cod, any cod!

  • Who's there ! Cod ! Cod who ?

    Cod red-handed !

  • Why is CoD like women?

    Search and Destroy.

  • What am I herring?

    This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

  • What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

    A: Pick a cod, any cod!

  • What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

    Pick a cod, any cod!

  • What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

    There is no cod

  • What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

    Cod dam