Country Jokes

  • What country are you most likely to get a disease?


  • What's a mexicans favorite game?

    Cross country.

  • What do you call a county that lacks a modern telecommunications system?

    Technologically backward" What do you call a county that lacks a fully integrated banking system? "Economically underdeveloped." What do you call a country that lacks a well-connected public transportation system? "America"

  • Who's about to run this country?

    Yea that

  • What would call it if all the cars in the country were pink?

    A pink carnation.

  • What do you call someone in the army that knows the capital of every country on earth?

    General Knowledge

  • What country always follows Zimbabwe?


  • Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

    Because opposite poles attract

  • What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

    Norse Korea

  • What are the people from the country Lesbia called?


  • What's a Mexican's favourite sport?

    Cross country

  • What do your mom and Poland have in common?

    a lot of countries have been inside her.

  • Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

    Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

  • Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

    The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

  • What country is the most fragile?


  • What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

    An ill-eagle

  • What is a mexican's favorite sport event?

    Cross country

  • What country can't be hacked?

    Madagascar, because all their ports are closed.

  • What country do cows love to visit?

    Moo Zealand!

  • What country are you from?

    I asked. "Iraq" he said. "How did you escape " I asked. IRAN

  • What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

    Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

  • Which country do doctors hate?


  • What's Mexico's national sport?

    Cross country

  • Which country will be the first to change to all electric vehicles?


  • What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?


  • Which country has the nicest children?

    Germany. German children are kinder.

  • Which country has a drug-addicted king?


  • Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?


  • Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

    Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

  • What are the similarities between a donkey and a Sikh?

    They both look incredibly cute when they are little. They both grow up and go into the transportation business. Note: sikhs - or sardarji as they are commonly known in india - are the largest ethnic group in the truck driver profession. Punjabi food is available on highways across the country.

  • Why do clouds make good Kings?

    Because they have rain over every country in the world.

  • Which country has the most crying people per km?

    The Soviet Onion

  • What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?


  • Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures?

    Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

  • What country uses the most foul language?


  • What country are the majority of dress pants made?


  • Why don't many Greek men move to other countries?

    They don't want to leave their brothers behind

  • What country does fried fish swim in?

    Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

  • What kind of country has a clown problem?

    The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!

  • Which country has the most millionaires?


  • What do you call 20 lesbians in a tree?

    A Country

  • Why do baby boomers like fracking so much?

    Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough.

  • Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country?

    To study abroad.

  • What's the biggest type of tree?

    A Country.

  • What country has the most people?

    Brazil... They've got Brazillions

  • What country has many sugar?


  • What country has the strictest dress code?


  • What do you call a country ruled by dank memes?


  • What is the difference between an Irish drinking song and a Country drinking song?

    You don't cry in your beer when the Irish song is playing.

  • How do you see countries neighboring Russia?

    Ukraine your neck.

  • Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY?

    Student -"in Swiss Banks".. :P :D lolx

  • How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

    When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

  • How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

  • What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

    A Czech Republic

  • What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

    Cross country

  • What country do I live?


  • Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

    Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

  • How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

    Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

  • How did Canada name their country?

    They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

  • What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned?

    A hibearnation.

  • Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

    Because in the country, you bump your kin!

  • Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

    Because Africa isn't a country.

  • What do you call a sick eagle that just flew in from out of the country?

    an ill-eagle immigrant

  • What do you call a slice of bread from another country?

    An immigraint.

  • How's Terry Fox like Jack Layton?

    They both tried to run a country and died before finishing.

  • What language do pigs speak?

    Depends on which country they're from.

  • What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

    Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

  • How many countries border Germany?


  • What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

    What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time? Urine-nation!

  • What country do all cats wish to get their food from?


  • What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event?

    Cross country

  • Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?

    Too many horses were drowning.

  • Who's Becky, Stan?

    She's just a country!

  • What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

    Ones a pant in the country the others a...

  • Which country has the highest number of foolish people?

    Hungary. Stay Hungary, Stay Foolish

  • Why was Stalin a Bad leader?

    Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.

  • What country is next to USA?


  • Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

    So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

  • What country makes the most milk?


  • Why is USA so gloomy?

    Because only two parties exist for the whole country

  • Which candidate will most improve our country?

    2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge

  • Which country has many spaces to put your car in?


  • What do you call a country run by a bunch of stubborn old deer?

    A stagnation

  • What country has the most internet crimes?


  • What country has the highest concentration of pool players?


  • Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

    It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

  • What country is ill?

    A: Germany.

  • What do you call a treehouse full of women you despise?

    A country.