Cross Jokes
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Why did the shark cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Two very unhappy animals.
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What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?
Halfway.
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Why did the plant cross the road?
Cus it was being stalked!
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What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
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Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?
A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)
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What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man?
A door to door salesman!
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What do you get when you cross a fancy car and a sweet potato?
A Yambourghini!
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What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day?
The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!
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What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?
A hot diggity dog.
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What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?
He died on the cross!
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Why did the chicken soup cross the road?
Because it was down hill!
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What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.
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What do you get if you cross a pig with a karate expert?
A: A pork chop.
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?
A messy cage.
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Why did the opossum cross the road?
To get to the middle.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
A smell that keeps coming back!
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What do you call a cat crossed with a canary?
a cosh(x/a)
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What do you get when you cross a dog with an amplifier?
A subwoofer.
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What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian?
What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person.
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Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?
THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.
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What do you get... ... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?
Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")
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What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear?
A polar bear.
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What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ?
A spooksman !
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What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?
A fireside rug you can get a good hump on.
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Why didn't the bird cross the road?
It chickened out.
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Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?
He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke
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What do you get when you cross a black and asian man?
slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.
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Why did the free-range chicken cross the road?
Because he could.
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What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?
Ringworm!
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Why did the Redditor cross the road?
To bask in social approval.
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What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road?
Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!"
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What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?
A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.
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Why did Goku cross the road?
Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
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Why does the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
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What do you get when you cross an attention whore with an attention horse?
The centaur of attention.
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What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?
A sheep that can round itself up !
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What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?
Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.
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What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ?
Birdsthigh fish fingers !
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What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ?
Bubble and squeak !
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What do you get when you cross an ape and a black person?
A really stupid ape
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What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty?
A bouncy castle.
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What do you get when you cross a chief with a black belt?
Kung Food!
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What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist?
Mickey Mao.
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What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?
Sir" from a distance.
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What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?
A screensaver.
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What do you get when you cross a dairy farmer with someone who moulds and fires clay?
A dairy potter.
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What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?
Quackamole
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What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?
Can someone get me some dry socks "
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Why did Hillary cross the road?
What difference, at this point, does it make?
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What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?
Dead in a tunnel.
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What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge?
A snapshot.
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What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?
Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.
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Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?
Because he was crossed.
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Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the other side.
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What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?
Mohammed Dali
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What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ?
He had to get a new goat !
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What do you get when you cross Game of Thrones with Cartoon Network?
Johnny Braavos
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Why did italy cross the road?
To switch sides
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What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?
A cross walk
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What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer ?
Loo-Loo !
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Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
It wanted to get to the other site !
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What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?
A box hedge fund!
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What do you get if you cross Doc Brown and Jay-Z?
1.21 JiggaWhats
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What is a KKK member's favorite board game?
CROSS fire
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What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a Hummer?
A gray and red hairy paste.
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What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
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What do you get when you cross menstruation and apples?
The MaxiPad
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Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain?
A: I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind.
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit?
A dead rabbit with a big hole.
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What do you call a Mexican in Canada?
ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!
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Why did the t-rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.
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What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ?
An Investigator.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman?
A jumbo yeti.
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What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?
No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
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What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
A pip squeak.
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Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street?
To get the Yolk Rite.
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What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?
A cross.
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Why did the fish cross the ocean?
Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.
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Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he never really was on your side.
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Why did the robot cross the road?
Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen?
The Ink-credible Hulk.
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Why did the headless chicken cross the road?
Cause he was supposed to be-headed to the other side
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Why did the cat cross the road?
Because curiousity was on the other side
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What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ?
A jet setter !
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What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?
Hop suey!
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What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.
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What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?
A very upset child.
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What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus?
I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton.
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
I don't know but it's not rhelephant.
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Why did the agnostic chicken cross the road?
There wasn't enough evidence to find out for sure.
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What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake?
Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
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What do you get when you cross my brain with a cat?
A cat.
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What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?
Snakes and Larders !sna
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What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino?
Helefino.
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Why did Jesus get a ticket?
He tried to skip the Cross walk.
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Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.
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Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !
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How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?
Cross your legs
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What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?
The Site-anic.
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Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
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How do animals cross the ocean?
On a Gir-raft.
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What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster?
A Nobel Prize
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What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?
A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !
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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down !
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What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?
I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.
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Why did the chicken double-cross the road?
To change sides.
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What do you get when you cross human DNA with a penguin?
A life time ban at the zoo
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What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?
The Masked-quito !
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Why did the bigamist cross the road?
To get to the other bride.
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What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Chelsea.
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Why did the salmon cross the road?
To get to the front page
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Why didn't the skelton cross the road?
Answer in comments so you can fully appreciate the joke)
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Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife?
Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side.
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Why did I cross the road?
Because your mom was on the other side..
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Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
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Why did Anthony Kiedis cross the road?
To get to the Otherside.
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What do you get when you cross a horse, an elephant, and a rhino?
Helephino.
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What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?
A humburger.
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What's the magic word?
Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off
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What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?
Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason.
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What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?
An offer you can't understand.
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What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common?
They all "Feel The Burn!"
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
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How did Jesus lose his virginity?
When he was nailed on the cross.
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What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires?
You would get severe frostbite.
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Why did the chicken get an ouija board?
To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
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Why did Kelly Clarkson cross the road?
Because of you.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
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Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken. >:
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Why did the cows cross the road?
They wanted to go to the mooo....vies
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Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
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Why did the imgurian cross the road?
To get the meme on the other side.
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What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?
A budgerigrrrrr!
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What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
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Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!
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Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
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Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?
The heretic kept crossing the warp
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Why did the German cross the road?
To get to the Reich side
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What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?
A puff-adder
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What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?
A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)
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Why didn't sine cross the road?
Cosecant
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What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?
It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!
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Why did the accountant cross the road?
Because that's what they did last year.
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.
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Why did the suicidal man cross the road?
Because he wanted to play chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin?
I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.
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Why did the depressed chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side :(
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What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier?
A Drill Sergeant
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What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?
A kangamoo!
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What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?
I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out
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What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly ?
The collie wobbles !
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What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead !
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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?
A Whale Way
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What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ?
A long necked toothbrush !
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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?
A polar bear
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What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
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What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?
A fangfurther.
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What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
A: Oil of Ole'
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What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !
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What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?
A crashing bore.
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Why did the man cross the street when he saw the chicken foot?
Because he suspected fowl play was afoot!
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What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple !
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What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?
A cross-wok.
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What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?
Darth Mule! A joke, from third grade me... Happy Star Wars day!
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What do you get when you cross a blue eye and a brown eye?
Pink eye
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How did the astrologer cross the road?
In his Taurus!
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What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck?
A firequacker.
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What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ?
A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !
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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?
Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog
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Why did Eeyore cross the road?
To get to the other... *sigh*
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Why did the punk cross the road?
He was safety-pinned to the chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?
A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.
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Why did Jesus have a six pack?
It was from all the cross-training...
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What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
Dead.
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What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?
A trip without the kids.
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What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?
A smooth operator!
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What do you get if you cross a Rhinoceros, an elephant and a helicopter?
HellIfIknow
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?
Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get if you cross a 20-year-old man, and 37 steak knives?
25 years in prison
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What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant?
A tusky!
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How does a blond cross the road?
A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"
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Why'd the chicken cross The Road?
Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.
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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?
So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.
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What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?
An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO
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Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot.
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Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road?
Because it had a bad motivator!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Walks away*
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What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A party line!
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What do you get if you cross a retard and a graffiti artist?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
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What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?
A: Wet feet.
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What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?
You better C or you'll B
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Why did the chicken cross the street?
DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**
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What do you get when you cross a vegetable with a pronoun?
Beets me.
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Why did the reddit mod cross the road?
removed
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Why did vegan cross the road?
Because chicken came to his side.
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Why did the two chickens cross the road?
To avoid debating Bernie Sanders
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Why did the shrimp cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
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What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?
A double crosser.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross an aged marsupial with a con game?
The old switcheroo.
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What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider?
A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin'
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?
A terrified postman.
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What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?
A long necked toothbrush.
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What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ?
All sorts of antics !
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Why'd the British man cross the ocean?
Freedom.
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What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican?
A Mexican moose
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How long are your arms?
Jesus: Why Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what Judas:Across. How long across.
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Why did the bible cross the street?
To get to the other genocide.
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Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
To show the opossum it could be done.
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What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?
Robbery with violets !
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What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi?
A scientologist.
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Why did the chicken cross the 38th parallel?
Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far
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What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?
A marine biologist.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To get to .
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When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
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What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.
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Why did Dr Facilier cross the road?
He had friends on the other side.
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What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Elephino
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
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Why did the zombie cross the road?
To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)
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What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch?
A cuckoo clock.
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What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash?
Tele-Scope.
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What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer?
PC Plod.
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Why didn't the girl cross the street?
She didn't have the balls
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What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order.
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.
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What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?
I'm the wiener!
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Why did the Priest cross the road?
Because he crosses everything.
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What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?
Smelly beans!
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What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?
Thrown out of the petting zoo
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What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?
Toot and Car Man.
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What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
A boar constrictor !
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What's the fastest animal in the world?
A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.
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Why did Muhammad cross the road?
Because he had the right of way.
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What do you get when you cross a motorcycle and a truck?
hit by a car.
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Why did the existential nihilist cross the road?
Who cares.
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What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?
An offer you can't understand.
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How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
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What do you call a bolt that dresses like a woman?
A cross-threader
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What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Pug?
A pugilist!
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What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?
A cricket ball !
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Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no guts.
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What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?
An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!
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Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?
Because the date wasn't nailed down.
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What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog.
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Why did the gamer cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out
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What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator?
An alligator.
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What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?
A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house... Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a Phyllis with a Christine?
A Philistine with two mommies ...
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What did Adele say when the chicken crossed the road?
Hello from the other side...
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Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?
Because a tuna can!
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Why did the accountant cross the street?
To crunch numbers.
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What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull?
A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
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Why did the blind man cross the road?
Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)
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What's a Mexican's favourite sport?
Cross country
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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.
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Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?
ah wait, i can't remember the rest :/
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Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because it was cooler on the other side.
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Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?
To get to the Other side
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What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?
Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.
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Why did Dave Mirra cross the road?
To go to the Gun Store!!
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What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A wooly jumper!
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What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !
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What do you get when you cross a pickle with a deer?
A dill doe.
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What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert?
Very tired feet.
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What did they call Jesus after He died on the cross?
Xavier
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How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.
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How did Harry Potter cross the road?
Walking Jk rolling
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What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas
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Why did the Agnostic cross the road?
We don't have enough evidence to say for sure.
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What do you get when you cross 400 Obese Water Buffalo with a Transgender Pimp?
Clickbait
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What do you get when you cross France and Britain?
Canada.
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Why couldn't the dinosaur cross the road?
There were no roads!
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What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?
A liar.
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What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
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What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
-
Why'd the chicken cross the court?
Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..
-
Why was the illegal immigrant so offensive?
Because he crossed the line
-
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
-
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A milkshake!
-
Why did the women cross the road?
Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!
-
Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway?
To get to the *other side*
-
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?
A dirty kid !
-
Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?
Cus he looked one way, then another way after.
-
What do you get when you cross weed with weed?
You get high.
-
Why did the nihilist cross the road?
It doesn't matter.
-
Why did the PI detective cross the road?
He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.
-
What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?
An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
-
What do you get when you cross Johnny Depp with Nicolas Cage?
Johnny Cage
-
What do you get if you cross a black person with an octopus?
I don't know but it would be excellent at picking cotton.
-
What do you get when you cross a loaf of bread with a buffalo?
A: A buffaloaf.
-
Why did the grinch cross the road?
HE HAS TOO MUCH LONGER LEG !!!!
-
Why did the Skeleton cross the road?
Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop.
-
Who was the first striker?
Jesus. He went for the cross
-
What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?
A boeing constrictor
-
What are we going to do when we see it?
she asks. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
-
Why did Tina Fey cross the road ?
To get another Golden Globe. Tina Fey walks into the Tina Fey,the Tina Fey asks "How can i Tina Fey you ?to which Tina Fey reply,"Ah just give me a Tina Fey" and then leaves with a Golden Globe. Unbreakable is good.
-
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man?
Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up.
-
Why did the kitchen cross the road?
It saw a pikachu across the street.
-
What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?
Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.
-
Why did the 25 year old cross the street?
To catch a charmander.
-
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
-
Why'd the seaman cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock that day.
-
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
-
Why did yo girl cross the road?
Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.
-
Why did Jesus die on the cross?
he forgot the safe word
-
What is a mexican's favorite sport event?
Cross country
-
What do you get when you cross pokemon and digimon?
A poke-mon!
-
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ?
Permanent waves !
-
What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?
Columbus
-
Why Latvian man did cross road?
Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.
-
Why did the dog cross the road?
A: Because it was the chickens day off.
-
What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk?
A bird that stinks to high heaven.
-
Why did the Jedi cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
-
What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?
Bike carbonate of soda !
-
What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?
Messie Thank you and goodnight.
-
What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?
I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!
-
What do you get when you cross egg whites with a bomb?
A boomerang
-
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Bugs Bunny !
-
Why did the duck cross the road?
To get some quack
-
Why did the atoms cross the road?
It was time to split.
-
Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics?
Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border.
-
Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor?
A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!
-
Why did the black person cross the road?
To fry the chicken.
-
What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?
I'm a wiener!"
-
What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot?
A Walkie Talkie
-
Why did the pimp cross the lawn?
To get to the hoes.
-
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ?
A Kong - vict !
-
What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?
Well, the cross was a big plus
-
Why Did 9Gag Cross The Road?
To steal a Reddit User's post on the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ?
A stripey jumper !
-
What do you call a cross between two KKK members?
Burning
-
What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?
A: A camera that takes pictures of itself.
-
What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?
a surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.
-
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp ?
A bear faced lyre !
-
What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?
You get to the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
-
What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Bell-bottoms!
-
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?
A carrot !
-
Why did little Jimmy cross the road?
Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy
-
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah ?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them !
-
Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?
He forgot the safe word.
-
What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event?
Cross country
-
What's the first sign of football in the bible?
Jesus going up for the cross!
-
What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?
Me! That hurts!"
-
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide
-
How many cross-dressers live near Manchester?
Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.
-
Why did the Frog cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the Chicken.
-
What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd?
Masterchief
-
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide!
-
What do you call a president crossing the road?
A presidestrian
-
What do you get if you cross Oddjob with Blofeld?
Oddfeld...
-
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?
Star Warts !
-
What do you get if you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?
Brown-chicken-brown-coooow
-
Why did the chicken?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.
-
Why did Adelle cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross a cow a french fry and a sofa?
A cowch potato!
-
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
-
Why did the stoner cross the road?
A: Who else would follow a chicken
-
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over?
A dirty double crosser.
-
What did the road say to the chicken?
If you cross me it will be the last thing you do!"
-
What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie.
-
Why do Mexicans cross the border alone?
Because there can only be Juan.
-
Why would Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
-
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a leek?
A bunion.
-
Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?
That's none of your damn business. Is he being detained
-
Why did the doggy cross the road?
A:To get to the bone! Q:Why did the bone cross the road A: To get away!
-
Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road?
Because it's a chicken.
-
What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?
A Pi fighter
-
Why didn't the NSA agent cross the road?
He was snowed in.
-
Why did the redditor cross the subreddit?
To recycle a joke from the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
I don't know but it would slow him down.
-
Why didn't the neuron cross the road ?
It was Nervous
-
What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?
A cruiseifixion.
-
Why did EA cross the road?
The punchline for this joke is 0.99$
-
Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road?
To put the bones on the other side.
-
What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A:('A jump rope')"
-
What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?
A dictator.
-
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?
Something from another universe -ity !
-
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?
A cow that can milk itself !
-
How did jesus get so fit?
He did lots of cross fit
-
What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?
Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.
-
Why didn't Jesus cross the road?
Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross
-
What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?
Hare in your milk!
-
What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ?
A croaksman !
-
What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.
-
Why did spider-man cross the road?
To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*
-
What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?
A Doberman fincher!
-
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock?
Ricky Retardo
-
What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?
a retarded gorilla
-
Why the chicken cross the road .... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it?
Neither do I, I get the new york times
-
Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?
To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.
-
What do you get when you cross an English bulldog and a Shih Tzu?
A bull-shiht!
-
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?
A golden receiver!
-
Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?
To buy another pair of AirPods.
-
How did the chicken cross the freeway?
You take the 'F' out of free and the 'F' out of way. Hint: say everything out loud.
-
What do you get when you cross.... .... the DNA of a human with the DNA of a goat?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
-
Why did the blonde cross the road?
I don't know. Neither did she!
-
What do you call a cross between a penguin and a cow?
Pregnant
-
Why did the lesbian cross the street?
She was emo.
-
What did the chicken say ?
What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.
-
Why did?
Why did the house cross the road, One of the most difficult to solve cross the road jokes, I'll give the answer when you all give.
-
Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken.
-
What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?
A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
-
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?
You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.
-
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
-
Why did the chicken cross the pathway?
By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.
-
Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road?
To get to the Otherside!
-
What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ?
Collie-wood !
-
Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?
He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)
-
What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?
A song called "My Corona"
-
What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck?
A Christmas-Quacker!
-
Why'd the Mexican cross the road?
He took the chicken's job.
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong!
-
What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?
An investigator.
-
How do you win a Scandinavian race?
By crossing the Finnish line!
-
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and then cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double crosser!
-
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armor.
-
What do you get when you cross a rhino with an elephant?
Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)
-
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.
-
Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border?
To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds.
-
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?
A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
-
What's do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino?
ell if I know.
-
What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?
The world's slowest vampire.
-
Why did Adele cross the street?
To say hello.... From the other side.
-
Why did the duck cross the basketball court?
He heard the referees were blowing fouls... -Jim Norton
-
What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?
When Jesus went up for the cross.
-
Why did the chickens cross the road?
Because they were Turkish.
-
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really!
-
What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?
Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
-
Why doesn't Jesus play basketball?
He got crossed up.
-
What do you get if you cross a river with a bridge?
to the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide
-
Why did the Cook cross the road?
because there were "Too Many Cooks".
-
Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's legs.
-
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ?
A teddy boar !
-
What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman?
An empty playground
-
Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
-
Why did the fish monger cross the road?
Just for the halibut.
-
Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?
He had a chicken stapled to his face.
-
What do you get when you cross Donny Osmond and Marie Osmond?
Spastics!
-
What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
-
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
-
Why did the chicken cross the ocean?
To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes.
-
What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?
No new messages.
-
What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a
-
Why did the clown cross the road?
A: To find his rubber chicken.
-
What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?
How far do you think i can kick this bucket Also, Why did the chicken cross the road He was in the bucket(/spoiler)
-
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A dog who can lick himself from across the room
-
Why didn't Stalin look both ways before he crossed the road?
He was rushin'
-
Why did the strawberry cross the road?
There was a traffic jam.
-
What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?
A caiman like a wrecking ball.
-
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?
A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.
-
Why did the black child cross the road?
To get to the other side
-
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ?
Monkfish !
-
What do you get when you cross a Wurlitzer and a photocopier?
A: A reproductive organ.
-
What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?
A humdinger.
-
What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea?
A horribly depraved piece of human garbage.
-
What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ?
A cry for Alp !
-
Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road?
because it did.
-
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was too chicken!
-
Why did the chicken cross the state line?
He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!
-
Why did the hipster cross the Brooklyn bridge?
To get home.
-
Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?
He wanted to lay it on the line !
-
What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread?
Spotted click
-
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?
The Baaahaaamaaas !
-
Why did Tony cross the road?
To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"
-
What "bus" crossed the ocean?
Columbus.
-
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?
A brick-layer !
-
What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe?
elephantgiraffesin()
-
Why did Serj Tankian cross the road?
because he wanted to...
-
Why Did The Black Guy Crossed The Road?
because... chicken.lel
-
Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire?
To be on the safe side!
-
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ?
A flat fish !
-
What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?
A Meringueutan
-
Why did the lesbian cross the road?
To get to the other bride!
-
What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...?
A Porky-Pine
-
What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?
A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
-
What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?
For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".
-
Why did the gamer and mathematician cross the road?
To get to 10.
-
What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a turtle?
A slowpoke!
-
What do you get when you cross a horse with a pig?
Sarah Jessica Porker
-
What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?
A bunch of offended Tumblrinas
-
Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
-
Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger cross the road?
To
-
What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?
Shot in the head in Dallas.
-
Why did the sushi cross the road?
Sushi could get to the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross human and goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo
-
Why shouldn't the chicken cross the road?
It would be a fowl proceeding.
-
How about an office party?
ME: crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies" I guess
-
Why did the double agent cross the road?
Because he never really was on your side.
-
Why did the cow cross the road?
Parent: "Wh-" Me: "Moo!"
-
What do you get when you cross a busy road with a broken leg and a blindfold?
Hit.
-
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.
-
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
-
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?
A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.
-
What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?
Cross country
-
Why did the teacher cross her eyes?
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
-
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist yet.
-
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?
Bumpkin pie!
-
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.
-
What's a mexicans favorite game?
Cross country.
-
Why did the calf cross the road?
To get to the udder side
-
What do you get when cross the Dukes of Hazzard car with K.I.T.T. ?
General Lee speaking.
-
What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony?
Pharaoh-moans.
-
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?
A sourpuss !
-
Why did the chicken cross my wife?
Because I ran her over in the street.
-
Why did the mafia cross the road?
Hey forget about it
-
Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice?
It didn't like being double crossed.
-
Why Did the Paradox Cross the road?
Because it didn't.
-
Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?
They looked both ways before they crossed.
-
What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?
A big mac.
-
Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers?
A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams
-
What do you get if you cross a poodle with katey perry?
7 trillion dead toddlers.. LMFAOOOOOOOO
-
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef!
-
Why is Latvian cross road?
Latvian see potato, but when cross is only secret police.
-
What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?
Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.
-
What do you get when you cross a lesbian with a hippopotamus?
A lickalottapuss.
-
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?
Steel wool
-
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !
-
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?
A stern rebuke from the Ethics Committee, and an immediate cessation of funding.
-
What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border?
A Mexi
-
What do you get when you cross NWA and Young Money?
Dr. Drake.
-
Why did Sepp Blatter cross the road?
To get to the other bribe
-
Why did the snail cross the road ?
It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.
-
What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?
Bicycle petals !
-
What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?
Jesus died on the cross
-
What do you get when you cross a black and a mexican?
Someone who's too lazy to steal.
-
What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?
Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.
-
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
-
Why did the spider cross the road?
To get to his website!
-
What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse?
A: I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!
-
What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino?
Hell if I know
-
Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road?
Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.
-
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun?
The Easter Blarney!
-
What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?
Willing suspension of disbelief.
-
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was attached to my bumper...
-
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side...
-
Why did the baby cross the road?
It didn't hit the car's windshield.
-
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
-
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To send people to the other side.
-
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
Because that's the direction his car was sliding.
-
What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a maltese shih tzu?
An abortion.
-
Why did chicken cross the road?
Because Intermediate value theorem
-
Why did Adele crossed the road?
To say hello from the other side.
-
What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?
Nailed it
-
Why did the chicken cross the school yard?
To get to the other slide!
-
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say Hello from the other side. I called you a million times.
-
What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp?
apple juice
-
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ?
A firequaker !
-
Why did the protester cross the road?
To get to the Occupy! EDIT: To get to the other side/Occupy?
-
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?
A car thief who can't drive
-
Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?
The eggrolled
-
What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?
Dew diligance
-
What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?
You can afford four fjord forders' fords.
-
Why did the chicken cross the Mbius strip?
To get to the same side.
-
Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?
He was Cross-Fit.
-
What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
-
Why did the gold fish cross the road?
To go to /r/antijokes
-
Why did the Catholic Priest cross the road?
To get to the school yard.
-
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?
Very big worm holes in your garden !
-
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?
A cat-a-logue !
-
Why did the guy from Brooklyn cross the road?
None of your f**king business.
-
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
-
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
A lumpy milkshake.
-
What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines?
A greydient
-
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus entertainer ?
Something that goes straight for the juggler !
-
What do you get if you cross history and a cow?
A moo-suem.
-
Why did Jack cross the road?
Because he was bean stalked.....
-
What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?
Executed.
-
Why did the paraplegic man cross the road?
He couldn't
-
What is the collective term for rams crossed with llamas who work as Avon representatives??
Rama llama ding dongs
-
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over?
Because he's a dirty double crosser.
-
What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?
A: You get light music.
-
What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck?
I'm not sure, but I know
-
Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?
Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.
-
Why did the black guy cross the road?
He heard there was chicken on the other side!
-
Why can't spooky skeletons cross the road?
No guts.
-
Why did the unfaithful Arabic woman cross the road?
To get to the other Sayid.
-
Why did the giraffe cross the highway?
Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)
-
What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat?
Nothing as they cannot breed with each other
-
What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)
-
What do you get when you cross 10 sodium particles with the Dark Knight?
Nananananananananana BATMAN!
-
What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape?
A retarded ape.
-
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Cause I stepped on it.
-
Why did the cactus cross the road?
It got stuck to the chicken.
-
What do you get when you cross a mexican, a queer, and an eskimo?
A snow-blower that doesn't work.
-
What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant?
A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.
-
Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?
Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.
-
What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?
Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
-
What do you get when you cross a ghost and a the letter K?
A: A book.
-
What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu?
Don't stick around to find out!
-
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?
A fowl smell!
-
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?
Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
-
What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?
Iran!
-
What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?
You can't cross a scalar and a vector.
-
Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street?
She got hit by a Bus.
-
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ?
A lot of crackling on the line !
-
What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds?
Deez Nutz
-
Why did the pancake cross the road?
His friends egged him on
-
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ?
Big holes all over Australia !
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!
-
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ?
Infantry !
-
Why did the chicken cross the rode?
To get to the other side.
-
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
-
Why'd the chicken cross the road.?
reasons unknown
-
How did the road break its ankles?
The chicken crossed it.
-
What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?
A WOOLY JUMPER :)
-
What do you get when you cross a mad cow and an angry sheep?
An animal in a very baaaaaaad mooooooood
-
Why didn't the lesbian cross the road?
She didn't have the balls to do it
-
Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?
he was two-tired...
-
What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?
A Piecycle.
-
What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?
Moshed potatoes.
-
Why did Xzibit cross the road?
A: To get to the other Ride
-
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and agnostic?
Someone who stays up wondering if there is a dog.
-
What do you get when you cross a valley girl and a goth?
Oh macabre! (say it out loud with a really annoying white girl voice)
-
Why did Steph Curry cross the road?
Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.
-
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ?
A bird that will talk you ear off !
-
What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?
A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
-
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?
He had no guts!
-
Why did the interrupting cow cross the road?
MOOOOOO!!!!
-
What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ?
Gravi-tea !
-
Why did the monkey cross the road?
To loot the pharmacy on the other side
-
What do you get when you cross a mormon and a raptor?
A Utahraptor
-
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks
-
What do you get when you cross a pig with a ninja?
Pork Chop!
-
What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.
-
What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?
Menachem Vegan
-
What do you get when you cross an orthodontist and a secret agent?
It's confi-dental
-
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
-
What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear?
A bi-polar bear.
-
Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.
-
Why did the priest cross the road ?
To screw in the children that were crossing the road
-
What do you get if you cross Tina Turner with an orang-utan?
A: a f*ing ugly orang-utan
-
What do you get when your cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Ell if I know!
-
How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?
A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.
-
What do you get if you cross a dog with a sniper rifle and a car?
A !
-
What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?
A good Friday
-
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because the ref was blowing a foul.
-
What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
A ghoul Yule!
-
What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!
-
What do you get if you cross a SJW and Jason Voorhees?
Social justice.
-
What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?
A stupid Cupid!
-
Why'd the dog cross the road?
Cause he's a dog.
-
Why did the salad cross the road?
To get away from the PETA convention.
-
What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?
Cannibals.
-
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?
Napoleon Bunnyparte!
-
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?
A hoppercraft !
-
Why did the chicken cross the bridge?
To get away from the Turkey coop.
-
What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?
A bouncing baby boa !
-
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?
The Nobel Prize in Genetics.
-
Where did Christ get his ripped abs?
Cross fit
-
What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?
Dental floss !
-
What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes?
Wet.
-
What Happens When You Cross A Programmer And A Musician?
An Algo-rhythm.
-
What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree?
a porcupine
-
What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?
As far away as possible. shameful
-
What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ?
Cross mouse cards !
-
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks.
-
What kind of bus can cross the ocean?
A Columbus.
-
What do you get when you cross a fag and a dairy farm?
A Dairy Queen
-
How does a south central chicken cross the road?
In a bucket
-
What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant?
el' if I know."
-
Why did Adele cross the road??
To say hello from the other side.
-
Why did the pop punk chicken cross the road?
To get out of this town.
-
What do you get when you cross a canyon with a horse?
I don't know nobody has ever made it across.
-
What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?
An argument
-
What do you get when you cross a whistle with a blizzard?
Edward Snowed-in
-
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?
Kermit the Fog !
-
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.
-
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person?
An Easter basket case!
-
Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?
Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.
-
What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?
Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.
-
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?
A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.
-
Why did Ellen Pao cross the road?
deleted
-
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Interia
-
Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?
Because they couldn't cross the streams.
-
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?
A boa constructor !
-
What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man?
A: A car thief who can't drive!
-
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says "Ribbit."
-
What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?
Carrion my wayward son
-
What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?
A fangster.
-
What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?
A Wienerschnitzel.
-
Why did Einstein cross the road?
So the other side could get to him
-
What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?
Lots of very worried dogs.
-
What do you get if you cross Bambi and a ghost?
Bamboo
-
Why did the lollipop cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.
-
What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?
v2 Allah's Snackbar.
-
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all-over perm.
-
What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa?
A Giving Christmas Tree
-
What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?
Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!
-
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.
-
Why did Blackbeard cross the road?
To indicate where the treasure is buried.
-
Why did the agnostic man cross the road?
To get to the other side, but he was very spiritually uncertain add he did so.
-
What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?
I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.
-
What's Mexico's national sport?
Cross country
-
What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?
Jacks on Jacks off
-
Why did he cross back?
So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
-
Why did the elephant cross the road ?
Because the chicken was having a day off !
-
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?
I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !
-
What do you get when you cross a duck and a fire work?
A firequacker
-
What do you get if you cross a black man with an octopus?
I don't know, but it's damn good at picking cotton.
-
What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?
A computer with a lot of bites !
-
What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?
A: A trip to Israel.
-
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?
Puff pastry !
-
Why did the cop cross the road?
To shoot a black kid.
-
What do you get when you cross a foot with cookware?
Potato!
-
What do you get when you cross the New World Order and risque behavior?
The Illuminaughty
-
What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
A hum dinger !
-
What do you get when you cross /r/news with /r/getmotivated?
TheDonald
-
What do you get when you cross worms with elephants?
Big holes in your garden
-
What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?
The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.
-
What do you get when you cross 2 ducks and a match?
Fire Quackers
-
What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?
THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!
-
Why did George cross the road?
He didn't look in both directions before crossing.
-
What would Jesus say if you angered him?
I'm Crossed."
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus!
-
What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?
A velocirapture
-
Why did Pee-wee Herman cross the road?
He was choking the chicken.
-
What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?
About halfway across.
-
What's the best way to cross the border?
In the trunk of a car.
-
What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?
A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.
-
What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure can pick lettuce.
-
What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?
A: An animal that talks your head off.
-
What do you get when you cross a brown cow with a brown chicken?
brown-chicken-brown-cow--" (said like: 'bowm-chicka-bowm-wawm')
-
Why did the black chicken cross the road?
It was being chased by the kluck kluck klan
-
Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal?
Because they're crossing the Finnish line.
-
Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?
Because he didn't truss it.
-
What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?
An animal that puts you out a night !
-
What do you get if you cross a Mexican with an Irishman?
A redhead who can tan.
-
What do you get when you cross Folger's and Smuckers?
Smolger's. <.<
-
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?
Because he was a dirty double crosser.
-
What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?
A flossopher!
-
Why did the teacher cross the room?
To get to the other slide.
-
Why did religion cross the road?
God is the answer.
-
What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?
Thrown in a lake.
-
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbreadmon.
-
What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?
A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!
-
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.
-
What do you get when you cross a regular potato and a sweet potato?
A tater tot.
-
What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?
A smokesalottapotamus.
-
Why did the fallen child cross the road?
Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.
-
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !
-
Why did the crip cross the road?
Chuz
-
Why did the chicken cross the rogue?
To get to the other side.
-
What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey?
A fowl ball!
-
What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty?
Mutton Looter King
-
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.
-
Why'd the pervert cross the road?
He couldn't pull out of the chicken
-
What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?
Hush puppies !
-
What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?
A wake-up call!
-
What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly?
Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector.
-
What happens if you cross a midget and a computer?
A: You get a short circut.
-
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ?
Dirty looks from the mouse !
-
Why did the suicidal chicken cross the road?
To get to the... side.
-
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower !
-
What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.
-
What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk?
A star-spangled banner
-
What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?
You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!
-
What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??
Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)
-
Why did the hipster cross the road?
To get to a place you've probably never heard of.
-
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?
Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
-
Why did Jim Morrison cross the road?
To break on through to the other side.
-
What do you get when you cross a feminist with a non-feminist?
Triggernometry
-
Why did the US citizen cross the road?
To cross the border into Canada.
-
What do you get when you cross an iPad with a Christmas Tree?
A PiNEAPPLE! Get it? -D
-
How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?
If you're a white man, you're free to walk.
-
Why did the hen cross the road?
because chicken.
-
What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director?
Steven Spellberg!
-
What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ?
A common tater !
-
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a chicken?
Just the tiger
-
Why did jay z cross the road?
Because mr mantis ate my skunk food.
-
When is a bad time to cross a black cat?
A: When you are a mouse!
-
Why did the newspaper cross the street?
To get to the other side of the story.
-
Why did the console peasant cross the road?
To render the other side.
-
Why did the apple cross the road?
To get to the other cider.
-
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?
You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.
-
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To see the chicken strip!!!
-
What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !
-
What do you call a cross between Communism and Theocracy?
Communionism
-
Why did the hummer cross the river?
For the insurance money.
-
What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe?
A melon collie.
-
What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ?
A. FireWeb .... of course!
-
Why did Jesus go to the gym?
To make sure his cross fit.
-
Why did the lost tourist cross the road?
The chicken looked like he knew where he was going.
-
Why did the otter cross the road?
To say "hello from the otter side"
-
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?
Something that stinks and stings!
-
What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ?
A fangfurter !sna
-
What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law & Order: SVU?
Women Say the Darndest Things
-
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
-
Why did the medium cross the road?
To get to the other side.
-
Why did the Muslim cross the road?
To get to the bigger crowd
-
What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle?
A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh.
-
What do you get when you cross a Native American with phosphorylation?
ATP
-
What do you get when you cross dirty double meanings with WWI?
The Triple Entendre.
-
What do you get when you cross Godzilla, saved by the bell, and crystal meth?
Go go power rangers!
-
What do you get if you cross goat DNA with human DNA?
I don't know, ask the Arabs!
-
How do American chickens cross the road?
In a bucket.
-
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
A bigger target.
-
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood!
-
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?
A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.
-
Why did the Sheikh cross the road?
To get to the other wife.
-
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla!
-
What do you get... Q. What do you get if you cross a large dinosaur with a frog?
A. A diplo-croak-us.
-
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?
A bird that talks in morse code !
-
Why did Chewbacca cross the road?
WWWRRRRRRGWWWRRRR!
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ?
Winnie the Pooh !
-
What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ?
Radio waves !
-
What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river?
Quatro-cinco
-
Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road?
Because ah, the egg roll.
-
What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil?
A religious movement!
-
What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?
Bacon and scrambled leggs.
-
What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?
A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
-
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?
DINO-MITE!
-
How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon ?
Melon-collie !
-
Where do black person go to travel cross-country?
The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)
-
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist.
-
What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?
I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !
-
Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide
-
Why the chicken cross the road?
To say Hello from the other side
-
What do you get when you cross a pyrotechnician and Mexican food?
Explosive Diarrhea
-
Why did the kid cross the road?
to go to a better place.
-
Why did the chickens cross the border?
Because they were Turkish.
-
What do you get if you cross Islam with Christianity?
Islam Christianity sin
-
What did Adele say when she crossed the road?
sing* Hello from the other side!
-
What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet?
A Lenintil...
-
Why did the chicken cross the stage?
To get to the other aside!
-
Why did Daenerys cross the road?
To be that much closer to crossing the ocean.
-
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?
Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !
-
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a double-crosser
-
What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at starbucks?
Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte
-
What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?
A Christian...
-
Why didn't the boxer cross the road?
He didn't want to be part of a bad punch line.
-
What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?
An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
-
Why did the chicken cross OP's mother?
0
-
What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?
a force of habit
-
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A mars-upial
-
What do you get when you cross Rogaine with Viagra?
Don King
-
What do you get when you cross a peach with a bunny?
Something punny.
-
What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?
A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.
-
What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?
I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !
-
Why did the armadillo cross the road?
It didn't, it made it halfway and then got hit by a truck.
-
Why did the Mormon cross the road?
To get to the other bride!
-
What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?
Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.
-
Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?
Because it was a little chicken.
-
How did Darth Vader cross the street?
Ewoked.
-
What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary?
Shredded tweet.
-
What do you get when you cross dancing and an act of god?
Deus Ex Macarena
-
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
-
What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade?
Flash-banged. )
-
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin!
-
Why did the spy cross the border?
Because he never really was on your side.
-
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?
Light ale !
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What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?
Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.
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What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law & Order: SVU?
Women Say the Darndest Things
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What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes?
PETA
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What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
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What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?
A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW
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What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks!
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How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.
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What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?
To show he wasn't a chicken.
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What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?
Addercadabra and abradacobra !
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What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Jehovah's Witness?
knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing
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Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road?
he was two chickens
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Why did the macaroni cross the street with a bible?
Because it's a pastor )