D Jokes

  • Why was the lesbian mad when she got her report card?

    Cause she got a D

  • What's the difference between Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes?

    One starts with B and the otber starts with D

  • Whats a pirates favourite letter???

    Youd think itd be rrrrr but tis the sea.

  • What's the difference between an Asian and a dumb white girl?

    The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D

  • How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?


  • What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ?


  • Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

    Cause they want the D.

  • How done is she?

    a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even

  • When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?


  • What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

    The letter "D" !

  • Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

    Onions" was his dog... D:

  • How do you get a girl from the Midwest to "s" your "d"?

    Dip it in ranch.

  • What does Brown Santa say?

    Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

  • What's the difference between a lady and a laddy?

    The D

  • What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

    They bio-D-grade.

  • Why are wedding dresses white?

    So the dishwasher matches the stove.

  • What does December have that other months dont have?

    The letter D.

  • What do these shoes do?

    GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

  • What are a pirate's least favorite letters?

    D, M, C, and A.

  • Why is C afraid of D?

    Because DEEZ NUTS!

  • Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

    Because he'd D graded her.

  • Why is the Computer D Drive always sad?


  • Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

    Because he can see the D

  • How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

    Give her the D.

  • Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

    Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

  • Which vitamine are feminists missing?


  • What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?


  • What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

    One has a d where the other doesn't.

  • Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

    Because red means stop D

  • What do you get from a frozen zombie?

    Frost bite. D

  • What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

    It made him wed his plants!

  • Why were they called the dark ages?

    Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

  • Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

    Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small.

  • What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth?


  • Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

    Because they want the D.

  • How did Canada get its name?

    They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

  • What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

    They're not infallible

  • Whatcha doing on the PC?

    Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

  • Why can't you hear Django coming?

    The D is silent.

  • Why did Skrillex get fired from the antique shop?

    Because he d-d-d-d-dropped the vase. Stupid. I know.

  • Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him?

    Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.

  • What do French stoners smoke?


  • What did C say to E?

    She wants the D.

  • Why did the leper chase the leopard?

    Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

  • Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

    Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

  • How can you make your d bigger?


  • What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

    They both love Ten D's

  • Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive?

    The brides are already dressed in white.

  • What do you call a Doctor who received all 'D's in Medical School?


  • What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

    He whale-d

  • Why did Yoda never get married?

    Because when he was standing by alter, and asked "If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife " His response was "Do I "

  • Why is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?

    Because you don't put the "D" in the big ones.

  • What did C: drive say to D: drive?

    Wow you looked shocked.

  • Why does Edward Woodwood have four D's in his name?

    Because otherwise his name would be E-war Woo-woo.

  • What is the biggest battery size?

    The D. It's huge.

  • Why are wedding gowns white?

    Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge

  • What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom?

    No sound at all, the D is silent